This little video about how to trade Halloween candy with your siblings is funny. I found it on Boing Boing last year after the Halloween season, so I thought I’d save it until now.

To do this properly, you really need a copy of The Candy Hierarchy.

I love the suggestion to find someone with allergies to trade with, but the idea that Smarties and Twizzlers are your “workhorses” makes absolutely NO sense to me. I HATED Smarties and saved them until the very last.

Oh, and apples? I can’t believe anyone gives those out anymore. Do they?

This video is SO FUNNY! Jimmy Kimmel challenged parents to tell their children that they had eaten all their Halloween candy and film their responses. He just expected the children to be angry, but there was an awful lot of sincere crying.

The first couple look totally fake, but after that, there are some really sad kids.

We were Jehovah’s Witness when I was a kid, so I have no idea what it was like to be a kid and have a whole bag of candy from Halloween, much less lose it in one evening. I laughed so hard at that video that tears came out of my eyes!

You can get a ghostie, a pumpkin and a candy corn for only $14 on Etsy. They are adorable!

• Etsy :: Crochet Ghost Pumpkin and Candy Corn Amigurumi — Set of 3

I like my Halloween Gothic and scary, but these little guys are just charming me!

Via: Craftzine.com blog: Halloween Amigurumi = Cute

I remember the last Easter that we celebrated before we became Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was so excited, I woke up early and looked around the house. I opened the curtains to look outside and found a little colorful toy on the windowsill. I realized that I shouldn’t do Easter without my parents, so I left it alone on the windowsill and lay back in bed, waiting for my parents to wake up.

In my mind, I waited a long time, but it was probably only a couple of minutes. I woke them up and they sat on the couch while I looked for “what the Easter Bunny left me.” I headed straight for the front room window and moved away the curtains. My mother said, “It’s like she knew it was there.” I did, Mom. Sorry I never told you.

After the divorce, Mom always gave us Easter baskets. They were beautiful creations with plastic Easter grass. I always had enough candy to last me for weeks, saving the best parts for last. The chocolate Easter bunnies that we sold in junior high to earn money for choir became the focus of the baskets. I always ate the solid chocolate from the ears down. They suffer less when you eat the head first.

Now, as I walk down the Easter aisle with Mike in the grocery store, I am untempted. He stocks up on Robin Eggs and Cadbury Eggs and even eyes the Peeps, but I’m unphased. I had enough Easter candy as a child that I never feel deprived. I let Mike fill the cart with his treats and none of them tempt me because I am full.

Apparently, some folks think feet first are better.

• The Joy of Tech comic… laughter is the best tech support.

Barbarians…

My game entered a whole new level of crazy with the Halloween Fishing Tournament. We are fishing for candy fish.

I feel like this should be the moment when it just breaks the suspension of disbelief and I can’t play anymore, but it isn’t. I’m perfectly willing to fish for fish that look like candy.

I may be truly mad.

I’ve been playing Animal Crossing New Leaf constantly for four months now. I am so excited that they have brought Halloween back to the game. On the first of the month, Jack visited me and asked if I wanted to be one of his loyal subjects.

Since it’s my favorite holiday, I agreed and I am eagerly collecting candy and Halloween masks to wear on that wonderful night!

So excited!

If you would like to visit my town, my Dream Address is 4000-2185-7855.

A special thank you to Thom Allen for sending me the link to this candy heart that says, Pick Me! posted by cuteculturechick.

This manicure is an example of “Leave Well Enough Alone.” I started out with a base of two coats of Ulta’s Army of 1 nail polish.

Then I added two coats of Beetle by Hard Candy.

After that, I added one coat of the second step of Revlon’s Moon Candy Orbit.

Even though it was only one coat of that polish, the pretty mylar pieces made the manicure feel thick and lumpy.

I hated the result so much that I took the polish off within a half hour of it drying.

I had no idea that the FEEL of a manicure is so important. The jagged and lumpy mylar pieces were gorgeous, but they made this manicure feel scratchy and unpleasant. I should have left well enough alone…

I absolutely adore the look of this manicure. I started out with a base of two coats of Ulta’s Army of 1 nail polish.

Then I added two coats of Beetle by Hard Candy.

This manicure looks so good. I love how Ulta’s Army of 1 is a great base coat for Beetle.

The camera can’t fully capture the iridescent hue of Beetle and how it reflects green, yellow and purple depending on the angle of the light. Gorgeous!

How I wish I had left well enough alone with this manicure, because what I did next completely RUINED it. Tune in tomorrow to see what happened.

I laughed throughout this whole video of a Halloween prank! They created a child-sized mannequin in costume and set it at doors and rang the bell. It would just stand there, creepy and still. The people answering the door drop in the candy and are suddenly disconcerted when the child doesn’t turn to leave.

I especially love the woman at the 3:30 mark who furtively touches the mannequin after several groups come and go. “What the hell?!”

The guy at the 5:25 mark is hilarious. He gives the mannequin more candy and tells a friend on the phone, “He wants more candy.” He drops in more candy and then laughs, “Is that good? The Halloweener won’t leave, dude!”

It’s a long video, but it’s funny all the way through!

Via: Hallowe’en mannequin prank – Boing Boing

Last year the Ohio University STARS launched a campaign called, “We’re A Culture, Not A Costume.” Here are the posters they created.

I love Halloween, so when I think of many of the costumes that I’ve worn, I wonder if I had been a racist with any of them. Where is the line drawn? There are those who have wondered why a white guy with a photo of a cowboy wasn’t included. Why is the cowboy costume not offensive?

I think the difference is when you dress up as a person of another nationality or culture it can be perceived as ridicule. Even if you never meant it that way, it can feel like the costume has boiled an entire culture down to a stereotype. So a geisha costume reminds an Asian girl of every time a guy expected her to be subservient just because of her appearance.

When is it alright to dress up as another nationality? Is it ever?

Personally, I think the line is not with intent. There are few people out there who set out to offend or harm anyone. None of us intend to hurt people’s feelings, so saying that you didn’t mean to offend someone with your costume is not enough.

I think you are safer with a costume depicting a specific person, such as Sayuris, the heroine of Memoirs of a Geisha, rather than just a normal geisha girl. Of course, it would take conversation and explanation to get this idea across and those are hard pressed in a noisy Halloween party. In the end, you may still offend someone.

In fact, MANY of our costumes from the past could be offensive to people. The year Stacey came as an old lady with a walker and offered linty candy and used tissues to people could be called ageist. Dressing up as a hippie, a tourist or a goth could be offensive. The costume staples of princess, cheerleader and kitty cat could be considered sexist. It seems that there are very few costumes that could NOT be construed as an insult.

So, how do you dress up without hurting someone’s feelings? Here are a few tips:

• When in doubt, throw it out: If you are worried that someone might look at your costume and think that you’re a racist, then DON’T wear it. That inkling of intuition is there for a reason. Find another costume.

• Choose fiction over reality: If you dress up as Mr. Spock, Harry Potter or Shrek, no one can accuse you of offending them, even if they are a highly logical geek, fantasy nerd or Scottish bore.

• Choose historical figures over anonymous people: Dressing up as Martin Luther King Jr. is VERY different than dressing up as a random black man.

• If you have to do elaborate makeup to change your appearance, you might be toeing the line: Covering your entire face with makeup to make your skin a different color, altering the shape of your eyes and even wearing a wig might be enough to offend someone. The more you need to change your appearance, the more likely your costume may be perceived as offensive.

Halloween is supposed to be FUN and thinking about whether your costume will offend someone can take some of the fun out of the preparations, but making a costume that hurts the feelings of a friend can suck the fun out of any evening. Take the time to be sensitive about your costume choice and you’ll ensure an evening of fun for EVERYONE.

Of course, sometimes Halloween just needs to be for fun:

I absolutely love this photograph from Vintage Seance on Flicker. It’s called The Seance.

I love the old photographs, the Tarot cards and the Ouija board. All of them look so perfect illuminated by the candlelight. I want to know what the spirits said to them.

Then again, even candy corn looks spooky by candlelight.

Via: The Black Hat Society

Of all the printable downloads available from Matthew Mead’s Halloween Templates, I like this treat box the best.

To make it easier to print, I created one with two:

If you print that one up on an 8 1/2″ X 11″ cardstock, sized to fit, you will get two treat boxes per sheet.

Each box will fit a fun size candy bar and one other small candy. They’re just perfect for an extra touch. I think I’m going to personalize mine with our name. So excited!

Via: 20 Free Halloween Printables – Tip Junkie

I have to interrupt this Halloween coverage, because Swatch sent me an email announcing the Deep Shine Collection.

DEEP SHINE COLLECTION: GLITTER, GLOSS & EYE-POPPING COLORS

A colorful set of five glittery, high-gloss watches. With the holiday season and the New Year just around the corner, there are plenty of reasons to celebrate.

The five models in the Deep Shine Collection make the perfect wrist candy, with trendy colors and high-gloss surfaces littered with glitter that sparkles and shines.

I had seen them on Second Watch and they looked much better:

• Swatch Glitter Collection | SecondWatch Blog

My first instinct was to buy them all for their glittery goodness, but upon closer inspection, they’re just normal watches with glittery bands. The bands always break on me within a couple of months, so I think I’ll pass on these ones.

Shucks, I was so excited about them when I first saw them…

I love the inventiveness of this Toilet Bowl Costume from Carolyn Terlet.

It looks like a Porta-Potty connected to a white box. Add a white mask, turtleneck and leggings for the finishing touches. They used a flushing handle made out of aluminum foil and a clothes pin, but a REAL toilet handle is pretty easy to come by at the hardware store, so I’d go that route.

According to Carolyn, the candy went in the toilet bowl. Brilliant!

Via: Candy Bowl « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

My first car was a VW Baja Beetle. This is the only picture I have of it.

I was into my artsy photography phase when I took this picture, but all I had was a 110 camera, so I used black and white film and that made me feel bohemian enough. And yes, that sun roof is basically held in place by gravity. It remained in that state of disrepair until the day when it flew off the top of my car on I-15 at 1am after a night of dancing at the Ritz. Like a fool, I ran out onto the freeway to retrieve it. From that moment on, I had a garbage bag duct tapped to the top of the car.

During that time, I had an experience with a garbage truck that has been seared into my memory. I was driving behind the garbage truck on 201 heading west. It was the kind that scrunches up the garbage and supposedly counts as a covered load because the scruncher holds the garbage in place. It was spewing garbage out the back, littering its contents all over the freeway. We passed a sign stating, “Fine for Littering $250,” and at that moment, a loaded diaper bomb hit my windshield.

After that incident, I littered whenever there was garbage that needed disposal. I’d uncrank the window, and toss the garbage out of my car without a shred of guilt. If big old garbage trucks were allowed to plant diaper bombs on my windshield, then I had no qualms about tossing a Big Gulp cup out the window once it was empty.

The way the wind almost took the garbage out of my hand when I opened the window seemed to validate my actions. It was as if the outside WANTED my litter because it sucked it out of the car like a vacuum.

I called it The Infinite Capacity Suction Powered Garbage Disposal Unit.

One day, however, I was driving with Stacey and Angie. Without a thought, I fed the Infinite Capacity Suction Powered Garbage Disposal Unit my empty cup and candy wrapper. I may have even passed out the garbage from Stacey and Angie’s snacks. We were listening to music on the ghetto blaster sitting on my open glove box (I didn’t have a car stereo) and laughing at something funny.

When we stopped at the red light, a woman in the car next to us screamed one sentence at me that has stuck to this day:

Do you think you can just use the world as your garbage can?!

I was mortified, but tried to act cool. I think I laughed and said yes and she argued with me a bit more before her husband pulled away as the light changed to green.

I have never forgotten that woman to this day and the Infinite Capacity Suction Powered Garbage Disposal Unit has never been used since.

Last month, I attended the second Ritz Reunion. Dancing at the Ritz was a major part of my high school and college years, so it was VERY enjoyable to let myself dance my butt off to the old tunes surrounded by my old friends.

I was surprised at how many holes there were in my music collection, so I was SO grateful when the DJs posted their playlists for the night.

• Facebook | Ritz Reunion II DJ Playlists

Here are the playlists with links to where you can download them. I gave Amazon precedence over iTunes because they can be played on any mp3 player, not just Apple products. If it’s not available on either, I linked to it on Listen To YouTube.

TONJA

• Only You – Yaz
• Don’t You Want Me – The Human League
• Why Can’t I Be You – The Cure
• Tainted Love – Soft Cell
• West End Girls – The Pet Shop Boys
• Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode
• I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow
• Love Resurrection – Alison Moyet
• Big in Japan – Alphaville
• Lover Come Back To Me – Dead or Alive
• Funky Town – Lipps, Inc.
• Blue Monday – New Order
• Wild Thing – X
• Jungle Jezebel – Divine
• State Farm – Yaz

DAVE

• Christian Says – Tones on Tail
• Nemesis – Shriekback [iTunes Link]
• Absolutely Immune II – Act
• Relax P:Machine (Medley) – P4F
• Sex (I’m a…) – Berlin
• Work for Love – Ministry
• Brother Louie – Modern Talking
• Living on the Ceiling – Blancmange
• Send Me an Angel – Real Life
• Every Day is Halloween – Ministry
• Peek-A-Boo – Siouxsie & the Banshees
• American Soviets – CCCP
• White Lines -Grandmaster Flash
• Soft Core – Maurice and the Cliches
• Gimme Gimme Gimme (Dance Mix) – Erasure
• You Think You’re a Man – Divine

JOEY

• A to Z – ABC
• Jet Set – Alphaville
• Baby Pain – Intaferon
• Spin for Me – Shoes
• I Touch Roses (Long Stemmed Version) – Book Of Love
• Let’s Go All The Way – Sly Fox
• Boom Boom – Trio
• Breakaway (Popper Mix) – Big Pig
• Theme From S’Express (Extended Version) – S’Express
• Respectable (Club Mix) – Mel & Kim
• Victim Of Love (Vixen Vitesse Mix) – Erasure
• State Farm (Madhouse Mix) – Yaz
• I Beg Your Pardon (Club Mix) – Kon Kan
• New York, New York – MCL
• Underneath the Radar (Extended) – Underworld
• Time Warp – Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Wild Flower (Extended Rock Mix) – The Cult
• Don’t Change – INXS
• Take Me Now (Extended Mix) – Vicious Pink
• Strip – Adam Ant

JASON

• I Want Your Sex – George Michael
• I Want Your Hands On Me – Sinead O’Connor
• Nasty Girl – Vanity 6
• Get Down Make Love – NIN
• Sample That – Bang Orchestra
• Boom Boom – Paul Lekakis
• Sex Shooter – Apollonia 6
• Fetish – Vicious Pink
• Hit That Perfect Beat (12″ Extended) – Bronski Beat
• Don’t Go – Yaz
• You Spin Me Round (Murder Mix) – Dead or Alive
• Hearts and Minds – Nitzer Ebb
• Scratch – Contagion
• Murderous – Nitzer Ebb
• Headhunter – Front 242
• Fire Woman – The Cult
• Puttin’ On The Ritz – Taco

It was a wonderful night and every song was perfect. The night couldn’t last forever, however, so there were many Ritz songs that were missed. Here are my favorites from our Ritz days that didn’t make the cut.

• Join In The Chant – Nitzer Ebb
• Everything That Rises Must Converge – Shriekback [iTunes link]
• Certain Things Are Likely – Kiss The Pink
• Go! (club Mix) – Tones On Tail
• Why? – Bronski Beat
• Shriekback – Faded Flowers
• Cities In Dust – Siouxsie And The Banshees
• Kiss Me – Stephen Duffy
• Vicious Pink – CCCan’t You See 12in
• C’mon! C’mon! [12″ Version] – Bronski Beat
• Pop Muzik (’89 Robin Scott remix) – M
• More Human Than Human – White Zombie
• Welcome To Paradise – Front 242

• The Power of Love – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
• Happy Birthday – Altered Images
• Pain – Oingo Boingo
• Living On Video – Trans X
• Pump Up The Volume (UK 12″ Remix) – M|A|R|R|S
• New York, New York – Nina Hagen

• Who Needs Love Like That – Erasure
• Spirit In The Sky – Doctor & The Medics
• Apollo 9 – Adam Ant
• Kiss Them For Me – Siouxsie And The Banshees
• C est Comme Ca – Les Rita Mitsouko
• Funkytown – Pseudo Echo
• The Beautiful People – Marilyn Manson
• I Wanna Be A Cowboy – Boys Don’T Cry
• Heart And Soul – T’Pau
• Push It – Salt-N-Pepa
• Wild Thing – Tone-Loc
• Andy – Les Rita Mitsouko
• World Destruction – Time Zone featuring John Lydon & Afrika Bambaataa
• Urban Struggle – The Vandals
• Free Nelson Mandela – The Specials

That makes an even 100 songs that we all loved and danced to back when we used to put on the Ritz. Leave a message in the comment if I missed any of your favorites and I’ll track them down for you.

• LOL at Ernie's birthday card! Happy birthday, buddy! http://tinyurl.com/yjx2j7c #
• Van Candy! It will be our delicious secret. LOL! http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilwheaton/4134028237/ #
• Thinking of spending too much money this weekend? Here's a great article about simplicity. http://tinyurl.com/ylyg7ug #

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Every year, I lose the judging for Best Potluck at the Halloween party to Stacey and Dan. So all year long, I’ve been collecting cool ideas for the food at the Halloween party this year. Starting with this:

• Halloween Martini – “Vampire Style” | Hostess with the Mostess®

The “blood rim” is made from the same kind of mixture as you’d use to make hard candy. It’s actually pretty easy, but you will need a candy thermometer (which you can find at most grocery stores).

Ingredients: 1 c. Sugar 1/2 c. Karo Syrup 1/2 c. Water Red Food Coloring Cinnamon (optional)

Directions: Combine sugar, syrup and water. Cook without stirring to hard crack stage – which is 300 degrees F. Add food coloring. (Optional: Cinnamon may be added for flavor.)

Turn off heat. While the mixture is still hot, dunk the top of the cocktail glass into the mixture to create the red rim. If you need to do several glasses, keep the mixture hot so it lasts longer (instead of turning heat off, just reduce slightly).You can go anywhere from just along the very tip of the rim to part way down the glass – whichever you prefer. Flip the glass right side up to cool. The thick consistency of the mixture will cause “drips” as it hardens on the glass!

My question is, if I use the plastic martini glasses, will they melt?

Via: Craftzine.com blog: HOW TO – Halloween Vampire Martini

• RT @communicatrix Just did an overlay of the food pyramid with Maslow’s hierarchy. If I become self-actualized, I do get to eat candy again? #
• RT @nicky187 If you become self-actualized, you don’t _have_ to have the candy, but you can if you want to. ;) #
• Funny video of a kitty in a suitcase. Peek-a-boo! http://bit.ly/Bumqy #
• Neo kitty fights off a swarm of Agent Smiths… er… pups! http://bit.ly/r2vRH #
• Brilliant short film about communication. http://bit.ly/Hhqk4 #

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Can we just take a moment for a much belated review for Star Trek Voyager. When the series came out, I was so disgusted with it that I just stopped watching after the Amelia Earhart episode. They brought in Seven of Nine and I just assumed she was eye candy for the teen-aged boy in every man who watches science fiction.

About two years ago, however, our Tivo started recording episodes of Voyager for me. I would watch an episode and be pleasantly surprised. I still hated Kess. I still thought Seven of Nine was eye candy, but I was willing to take in an episode when I was running on my treadmill.

Something changed about a year ago. I was singularly impressed with the writing on a particular episode with Chakotay (one of my least favorite characters). He was stranded on a planet that was warring. Their language was different and Chakotay found himself involved in their fight against their enemies very quickly. It was such a beautiful episode that I saved it on my Tivo for a long time, watching it over and over. You can see it here:

• YouTube – Voyager 072-Nemesis 1/5

Ever since then, I have watched EVERY episode of Voyager that Tivo has recorded for me. It is now my absolute favorite of the Star Trek collections, knocking out even Captain Kirk and Captain Picard. I even saw an episode with Q in it two nights ago and LIKED it. Q! The epitome of what was WRONG with Star Trek! And I ENJOYED the episode!

We are living in a resurgence of great sci-fi right now. We have Battlestar Galactica, The Chronicles of Sarah Connor, Heroes, Lost, Dr. Who, Torchwood and a bunch of other series that I haven’t been able to keep up with. I haven’t been watching any of them, but I have religiously watched Star Trek Voyager for the last couple of years.

I wonder… In ten years, will I be singing the praises of ten year old sci-fi while persistently ignoring the sci-fi of the present? Why can’t I just get on the train NOW?

Now that Christmas is over, Santa has a moment to cool down with a cool cigarette.

My grandmother always smoked Pall Mall cigarettes. When I was a kid, they used to make candy cigarettes that looked similar to real brands.

I used to get the Pall Mall kind because that’s what my grandma smoked.

I’m not a smoker, but I DO have food issues. Can I blame the tobacco industry for my binge eating?

Advert Via: Found in Mom’s Basement: Vintage cigarette ads: Who knew Santa smoked so much?

This video on YouTube shows Halloween on Animal Crossing for the Nintendo Gamecube:

I own the Gamecube version of Animal Crossing, but I didn’t like it as much as the DS version. Maybe I’ll fire it up for Halloween day. Looks like I need to collect some candy, however.

Do the people in Japan really think this is how we celebrate Halloween?

These folks created a magic mirror that talks to the children as they come to get the candy. It’s created with a facade, a skrim and a computer running software to be the face.

• Nephilim : ImaginEERIEing : The Magic Mirror

You can see it in action here:

That looks like a lot of fun!

Via: Craftzine.com blog: HOW TO – Make a Magic Mirror

Mike talks about this all the time. Charlie Brown goes trick or treating with his friends and they get great candy and he gets a rock.

Because I never saw this as a child, it seems strangely unclimatic to me. I was never allowed to watch the holiday specials on TV when I was a kid because we were Jehovah Witness. Watching them as an adult just isn’t the same.

I guess I missed out on this piece of the collective unconscious.

With my choice of skull cupcakes or pumpkin cupcakes, I think I have a chance at the prize for best potluck this year.

• Skull Cupcake Pan – Pushin Daisies

• Pumpkin Cupcake Pan – Pushin Daisies

Now, I just need to learn how to do the frosting so it looks spooky!

Via: Popgadget Personal Technology for Women: Skull cupcake pan

I love to see Halloween costumes from when I was a kid. Wil Wheaton shared his Darth Vader costume from 1977 and his memories of it:

• WWdN: In Exile: Halloween, 1977

These costumes always seemed one dimensional to me. They look good from ONE viewpoint, but add a couple more dimensions to the mix and they just look dumb. Plus, Darth Vader would NEVER wear a costume with Darth Vader on the front. Geez, Mom!

I never got to wear a Halloween costume like that. I really didn’t get to celebrate Halloween until I was an adult and they just don’t make those kind of costumes for adults. Now that I think of it, they really SHOULD. I bet they would be a hit for one year while all the grown-ups reminisce about how it was when they were kids.

I can’t really reminisce about that, though, so I just have to imagine that they were uncomfortable and a pale comparison to REALLY dressing up like Darth Vader.

When I was a child, we were Jehovah Witness. We didn’t celebrate Halloween and we certainly didn’t decorate for it. I remember passing the windows of the decorated homes and wishing my house was like theirs. In retrospect, it was just paper. Seriously, all those houses in the 70’s just taped a couple of die-cut prints on their windows. There were no graveyards on the front lawn. There were no fake spiderwebs. There were no animated ghosts or spiders. It was just paper, yet it meant the world to me.

Looking at The Rod Lange’s Halloween Collection, a flood of memories passed over me. This witch, in particular, was one of the scariest to me. I wished I could go Trick or Treating because I just knew that a house with this witch would give good candy. How could it not? She wasn’t just a piece of paper. She was a piece of paper with JOINTS! Her body was so misshapen compared to her head. Scary and enticing at the same time!

No matter when you were a child, Rod has something for you to enjoy. His collection is wide and varied:

• 1900’s to 1920’s
• 1930’s to 1940’s
• 1950’s to 1960’s
• 1970’s
• Unknown origin or year

Considering that paper of the early twentieth century had so much acid in it, Rod’s collection is amazing. We are so lucky he’s willing to share it with us. Enjoy!

While we were in Billings, we visited the Rimrock Mall. It looks completely different than it did when I was child trapped in the town. Completely different, except for Herberger’s. Imagine my surprise when I find that Montgomery Ward is gone, replaced with an additional Dillards (does the mall really need TWO Dillards?), but Herberger’s is still there.

The sign looked completely unchanged in the last twenty years.

Herberger’s was one of those stores that I always thought was for grownups. It didn’t have any stickers or candy. It didn’t even have any cool clothes for when I became obsessed with my clothes more than stickers. I always thought it was one of those stores I would like when I got older.

I’m older now and it still looks entirely unremarkable. When will I be old enough to make Herberger’s interesting, and will it still be there when I am?

STILL doing these by hand… grrr… (Continue Reading…)

This video starts out with a simple shot of the house decorated for Halloween and shows the costumes that the kids are wearing, but it ends pretty scary. The film follows the children while they trick-or-treat. At one house, they actually go in. Something that is unheard of now.

At the end, the children take the candy from the corpse in the coffin. Really scary!

Gene rescues film that has been abandoned in cameras. He found this picture in a German Franka Werk Folder camera last February. The full sized version and the others in the set are here:

• Found Film – From a Franka Werk Folder

Film that has stayed in a camera for so long can get damaged, so Gene’s job is a tricky one. The damage on this photo seems to frame Death nicely. I wonder if he got a lot of candy that year or just a bunch of apples. I kinda wish I could go back in time and see what trick-or-treating was like back then. I’m sure the candy is better now, but I wonder about the homemade things.

I have a painting in my basement that has been sitting there for almost two years. It’s not finished. It needs a white wash over the top and then it will be done. I started it for Stacey and Dan, but they don’t need it anymore. I personally like it, but there is not more space for any paintings in my tiny house. It is gathering dust.

I have two huge canvases that I got for an incredibly low price at the local art store. They smelled like some horrible solvent when we bought them, but now they smell like the basement. They are covered in plastic and clean, but they haven’t been touched. I had some great ideas for them.

Every few days, we walk past the art store. It’s on the way to many of the places that we go regularly. I linger outside, peeking in like a child who has no money for candy. I want to go in and buy a pile of oils and brushes and any other supplies they have. It’s not that I don’t have the money to paint. I just don’t have the time. I’m writing and reading and working and riding my bike and playing with friends. The thought of dragging out those oils and setting up to paint sounds like a chore to me.

But I miss it. I want to finish my painting. I want to give those empty canvases life, even if there is no room on my walls for them. I guess it’s time to drag out the oils and my blue lab coat.

Last Friday, I had a dream about Disney. All the old Disneyland rides of yesteryear were on a tour. It was like a traveling carnival. They had a Candyland ride that I remembered vividly in my dream, but now just seems foreign to me. They had Mission to Mars. I remember thinking that Disney was genius to do this because the rides in Disneyland were useless, but moving around the country in a carnival to small towns, they were incredibly valuable.

Unfortunately, they were horribly executed. The employees didn’t have “Disney faces” at all. They didn’t run the rides professionally. I decided to go on Mission to Mars again because I thought maybe they would be more professional the second time, but they weren’t. Instead, I was stuck on the ride while two of the employees were flirting and laughing with each other. I was stuck for forty-five minutes until I finally said, “I want out of here!” The whole thing felt like a huge disappointment to me and I just wanted to go home. Stacey had been talking to a vendor whose boyfriend (who worked on Mission to Mars) had dumped her. I just wanted to leave.

I think if Disney kept their old rides and put them on a carnival tour they could probably squeeze out a few more dollars from them, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’ve never said this before, but sometimes it’s good that they go. Sometimes the rides are dated and no longer of interest except for nostalgia. Sometimes they are so dated that the jokes don’t make sense anymore.

For example, think about Mission to Mars. No one wants to see that ride again (ok, that’s a lie, nostalgia plays big with some people, but stay with me here). The animatronics would look silly. The joke about the albatross flopping into the radar, setting off alarms makes no sense in a post-Cold War world. It was a ride that needed to go, just like Adventure Through Inner Space.

I loved Adventure Through Inner Space, but it was an artifact. Back in the early sixties, we thought science was going to cure all our ills. That ride really exemplified that concept. Now, that idea is true, mostly, but we don’t think it’s that neat anymore. Sure, science cures diseases and makes our life easier, but more and more, we are learning that some things in their natural state are far better than the chemically altered versions. Like food, we thought that food would be perfected by science to make us healthy, but it didn’t turn out that way. Big companies have been chemically altering food to taste really good, but it’s not healthier for us. The ride was slightly educational, but it’s more about a commercial for Monsanto. It had to go.

It’s the same for The House of the Future. Who knew that houses would look about the same as they did back then? Sure, we have better insulation and better electrical wiring, but nothing beats the rambler/cottage style house. Not even a plastic house on stilts.

I have been spending so much time lamenting Yesterland because those old rides remind me of when I was a ten year old girl, going to Disneyland for the first time, but they really don’t make sense anymore. I’m glad that Disney keeps updating Disneyland. I would gladly sacrifice both Rocket Rods and the People Movers for the Buzz Light Year ride. Sometimes, what they replace it with is not as good as what used to be there, but they figure it out pretty quickly. Why they haven’t realized how lame Innoventions is, I have no clue.

When I said Halloween was fabulous this year, I don’t think I fully was able to describe the true fabulousness of all the costumes. Here are the pictures from this year’s party!

Thank you to everyone who came to the party and spent so much time making the party wonderful!

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1. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

When Deon Sanestevans apologized to me for the months of torture during junior high school, it was the nicest thing that anyone has done for me. I haven’t told this story yet. I guess I should someday and you’ll understand.

2. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for someone else?

Senior year in high school, I was on the staff of the Literary Magazine. It meant that we went to class every other day, wrote teen angst poems, judged the teen angst of  our peers and worked our butts off getting our magazine published. Dawni Burton Hatch was in the class with me. Mike Pinkston was in the class with me. Candy Jeffs was in the class with me.

I’ve never talked about Candy Jeffs before. She lives in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Salt Lake again and I have seen her recently. She has been known to read this blog, but I feel like I have to be honest. When we were in high school, the last thing I wanted was to be seen with Candy Jeffs. I wanted to be cool. I was a punk rock bitch and having a Mormony girl like Candy Jeffs follow me around was an irritant.

I always felt guilty for snubbing Candy. I’ve never seen Flatliners, but I’ve been told that Keifer Sutherland was haunted by past taunts of a girl during his school years. I was haunted that way. Several years later, Candy was back from college for the summer and got a job at the same K-Mart that I worked at. I confessed how sorry I felt about treating her poorly during high school.

She told me that she didn’t think I treated her poorly. She was glad that I let her hang out with me. I was never overtly mean to her. She saw our time in high school together as a happy time and she was grateful for my association. I didn’t mean to, but the nicest thing I’ve done was just let someone be my friend. Now, I am grateful for her friendship as an adult.

3. What one thing do you wish you had done?

I wish I had been braver. I wish I had told more guys that I loved them. It was so easy to love back then. The older I get, the fewer people I love. I wish I had told more people that I liked them. It was so easy to just casually like people back then. The older I get, the fewer people I can even tolerate, much less like.

4. What is your biggest regret?

My biggest regret is that it took me so long to let myself be a writer. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was in high school, but I thought that I had to have something to “fall back on.” I wasted a lot of time getting a degree in Mathematics when I could have been honing and refining my writing skills.

5. What is your greatest accomplishment?

I like to think that my greatest accomplishments are still yet to come. Of course, I’m sure that I would feel like that even if I won the Pulitzer Prize, so I guess I should make an assessment of myself as of this date. My greatest accomplishment to date has been finally allowing myself to write and publish my work every day. I was writing every day, but all of it was hidden away. Publishing on this weblog every single day has been my greatest accomplishment so far.

I never really bonded with my dad. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was because he was in the Navy when I was born. I really don’t know why I didn’t bond with my father, but here I am today and I never went through any of those father issues with my father.

Instead, I bonded with my grandpa. I had all of those “Daddy’s Little Girl” moments with him instead. My grandma babysat me during the days when my parents worked. I remember waiting by the window for him to come home from work. The television was always on and when the MASH song came on the television, Grandpa would be home soon. To this day, those first few notes of the theme song to MASH give me that excited feeling of knowing that Grandpa is almost home.

I remember one time we got to make cookies. He said we could make the cookies from my <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Sesame Street book. They were some sort of Surprise cookies that had many different candies in them and you wouldn’t know what kind of candy you would get until you bit into the cookie. He let me stand on the step stool while we stirred the cookie dough. I remember thinking, “I’m tall enough to marry Grandpa when I stand on this stool. We just need to get rid of Grandma.”

Of course, I am the kind of person who says those things out loud and when I did, Grandpa looked at me funny. I learned very quickly that it was weird to want to marry your grandpa. Pop psychologists always talk about the Oedipus complex. I actually remember feeling like that, so I know that I bonded with my grandpa some time before that day.

I still believe that he is invincible. I remember when Bobka sold her house in Pembina, North Dakota. Grandpa got her piano. He and three other men moved it into the house in Billings. It was my grandpa on one end of the piano and the three guys on the other side. I was sure that my grandpa could have moved the piano all by himself, he was that strong. It was just that Grandma insisted that he have help. He didn’t really need it.

I still believe that he is immortal. Bobka is still alive and celebrating her 100^th Birthday this year. My grandpa has longevity in his genes. Even though he turns 75 this year, I still believe he will live forever. Even though Grandma died almost ten years ago, I think he’ll outlive me. Even though he is my last living grandparent, I still believe he’s immortal. I have no trouble facing my own mortality. It’s facing his that’s the problem.

Today we recognize the fathers in our lives. I have a father. He has always done the best that he could with what he had. I have a father-in-law and he is the glowing reminder of where my husband came from. To hear him tell a joke is to see my husband encased in another body. I have a step-father. He’s new this year, but he has already jumped ahead of my dad in the race for my affections.

There is one person who will never fall behind, though, and that’s my grandpa. He will get his Father’s Day card and scold me for the Costco gift card I sent him just like he scolded me for the emergency car kit I sent him for Christmas. It doesn’t matter as long as he knows that he’s remembered this season and every season. Happy Father’s Day, Grandpa!

September 28, 2001

1. Laying on your back and facing the ceiling, which side of the bed do you sleep on?

I sleep on the left side of the bed. Mike always sleeps on the right side of the bed. Even when we move, it’s the same. Even when we sleep in a hotel it’s the same.

2. Do you have to have covers (blankets and/or sheets) at all costs, no matter the weather?

Yes. I love to snuggle in the blankets and I’m usually cold in the bed, even in the blistering summer. It’s not until a couple of hours before I’m supposed to wake up that my body temperature will warm up enough to get me to kick off my covers.

3. Sleep nekkid or no? Why?

I do not sleep naked. I keep having dreams that someone is watching me. I can’t have Stinky Ghost seeing me naked while I’m sleeping.

4. What’s under your bed?

The games are under there, so let me see, there’s Monopoly, Clue, Candyland, Cranium, Scrabble, Master Mind and Apples to Apples. I’m sure there’s some underwear or socks under there too and maybe even a cat depending on whether the vacuum cleaner is running.

5. If you have pets, do you let them sleep with you? Why or why not?

Maggie and Linda, the cats, are allowed to sleep on the bed. Ok, they aren’t allowed to sleep on the bed so much as we’ve given up kicking them off. Sid, the dog, is not allowed on the bed. He sleeps on the floor right next to the bed. This is great when I hear a bad sound and worry that it might be something evil. If Sid sleeps through it without barking, it must not be Evil. The only negative to letting him sleep in the room with us is that he’ll have bad dreams and whimper in his sleep. I’d rather wake up to Stinky Ghost watching me than to the ethereal and haunting sound of a dog with a nightmare.

They are a little busy right now, so I’m starting at the beginning and moving on from there.

1. Where were you born (city or state or just country)?

I was born in a military hospital in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Portsmouth, Virginia. My father was serving in the Navy at the time and they were stationed in Virginia.

2. What is your favorite number?

I decided that my favorite number was three when I was in grade school. We went to Lagoon and we were playing Skee Ball. I got the highest score that I had ever gotten in my life and I was playing on machine number three. From then on, I tried to get a machine with the number three or with three as a factor. That gives me a one-in-three chance of finding a “lucky” machine.

On a different note: three is such a perfect number. It evokes the Trinity. It represents stability. It reminds me of triangles, on which our higher mathematics depend. I just like it.

3. Vanilla or chocolate?

It depends. Ice cream? Chocolate. Candy? Chocolate. Yogurt? Vanilla. Pudding? Chocolate. Cheese Enchilada? Chocolate (or Mole, whatever).

4. What section of a bookstore would I find you in?

Sadly, you’d find me stuck in the discount section, partaking of the remnants. Whenever Mike and I go to Barnes and Noble, he gets sick of the store before I’m through with the discount section. I swear. I could spend the entire day at the book store.

5. What kind of mattress do you have on your bed? soft? firm? water?

Firm mattress. The kind that you don’t need to flip, you just need to turn. Which, by the way, is just as difficult to do.

Cognitively, fourth grade is THE year for Halloween. All fourth graders want to be firemen, ballerinas and pirates. It is the year for dress up. That year, I didn’t dress up. I had never dressed up, but it was particularly hard to go to school on Halloween. Fourth grade didn’t qualify as the worst Halloween memory ever, but it was close. I remember Dylan came as a Vampire/Devil. He thought it was so cool to mix those two icons into one Halloween costume. I came as nothing and sat in envy at my desk reading the biography of Davy Crockett while everyone else toured the school for the Halloween parade.

I must have attended the Christmas party. I have no recollection of it, so it must not have been that cool. I suspect that my teacher gave us cupcakes or something. I’m sure I ate the cupcake, trying to evade my guilt in favor of my sweet tooth. Maybe I took the Santa head off the cupcake so that I could pretend it was just a normal cupcake. I don’t remember.

It was Valentines Day that I wasn’t expecting. It happened right at the end of the second term. I had busted my butt, coming to school while sick and through those horrible holidays. Valentine’s Day didn’t even phase me. It hadn’t even been a blip on my radar. It was going to be just one of those silly holidays like Columbus Day. I would have to sit quietly while the other students made frilly hearts. Maybe I would bring the biography of Benjamin Franklin to read to keep myself busy. Then it was smooth sailing to the end of the term and that shiny certificate.

The vision of that shiny certificate became pale and indistinct on Valentine’s Day. I sat at my desk during the exchanging of the Valentines. I was quiet and near tears. Everyone was receiving Valentines from their friends saying, “Bee my Valentine” with a picture of a bee. Or maybe they said, “If you carrot all, you’d be my Valentine” with a picture of a smiling carrot. There was candy in some of the Valentines. Some of the parents brought cupcakes with candy hearts on the top saying, “Be Mine.”

I had to reject all the Valentines. I had to tell my peers why I didn’t have a box. I even said no to the cupcake from the mother who sometimes attended our class and helped the slow readers. I was a good Jehovah Witness girl because I had seen pictures of Armageddon and I didn’t want to die in a flurry of fiery rain just because I couldn’t say no to a cupcake.

I was just trying to hold on. If I could just hold on until I got home, I would be fine. I was walking home with my friend, Trudy Rushton. She was the good Mormon girl on Royal Anne Drive and my mom liked me to be friends with her. Right as we got to her house, she stopped and faced me, “I know you’re not supposed to get these, but I couldn’t let Valentine’s go by without giving you a Valentine’s Day card.” She handed me a tiny Valentine in a white envelope. I took it, choked out a thank you and ran the rest of the way home, leaving her at her house.

I can’t remember what the Valentine said, but she had written on the back, “You’re my best friend.” I cherished it, even though it might mean my demise in Armageddon. I showed it to my mom and asked her if I could keep it. She said I could, but I could never let my dad see it. I knew what that meant. If he found out that I had brought a Valentine into the house, he would think that it was “demonized” and destroy it. My beautiful little Valentine would be destroyed before my eyes if Dad found it. So I hid it.