It passed me right by this year. Sure, I knew it was happening. I knew who was playing, but I didn’t spend one second watching it or the spectacularly naked half-time show. I just don’t really consider football all that important. If I were married to someone who thought it was important, I might deign to watch the Super Bowl, but Mike is just as apathetic about the spectacle as I am. We visited Kristen in the hospital instead.

All that the engineers could talk about in the office was Janet’s right breast. Oh yeah, and the game was good too. There was a farting horse and a streaker, but none of that compares to Janet’s right breast. Do you think it was planned? They want me to answer and all I can say after seeing the pictures is, “Duh!” Of course it was planned. Women don’t wear star shaped pasties under their clothes unless they plan to reveal their goods. Not even Janet Jackson. Sorry, boys.

By the way, that kiss with Madonna, Britney and Christina was planned too. Sorry to bust the bubble. The art of choreography doesn’t really allow for impromptu kisses to look that smooth and polished. Want to eat your heart out? They probably had to kiss each other many times during the practices in order to get it right and on the beat.

It seems like so many of us live through the television that we forget that life is messy. Anyone who has actually ripped off the clothing of a lover knows that clothing never conveniently rips showing only one breast. Anyone who has ever tried to give someone a surprise kiss knows that foreheads bump, teeth click and sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes they turn their head and all you get is a mouthful of hair. No matter what the romance novels or porn movies say, life is messy.

And, isn’t that the joy of it? Life is messy. I want to jump into life with both feet and roll around in the mud. I want to run haphazardly through life, allowing the sweat to get into my eyes, stinging and burning. I want to allow life into my bed vomiting itself all over my warm flannel sheets. That’s the beauty of life because for as many times as life sends you vomit, it could have sent you ecstasy. That’s the crap shoot that we are all willing to take. Sure, you ripped the shirt in such an awkward way that it just looked malevolent instead of passionate. Sure, you leaned over for a kiss and all you caught was brown, curly hair smelling of shampoo and hairspray. Life is messy, live it up!