Pick Me!

A weblog by Laura Moncur


Stinky Ghost (Part 3 of 3)

Filed under: General — Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am

The summer faded into autumn and we got used to living in the house. The dreams about the man watching me sleep were less frequent. I thought it was because we put up a curtain in the entrance between the bedroom and the kitchen. I felt like the world could see me in the bedroom because I could look out the door and see the entire living room. Once we put the curtain up, the dreams subsided.

I think it was September when I smelled Stinky Ghost again. I came home from work, walked in the door and was hit in the face with the stench of smelly socks again. “Aaugh! Stinky Ghost is back!” Then I realized that I hadn’t smelled Stinky Ghost in a long time and the only reason I smelled him now was because Mike had turned on the evaporative cooler. It had been nice enough weather that we hadn’t needed the cooler for the last few weeks, but now that Mike had turned it on again, we were getting the full bouquet of the moldy cooler pads.

Evaporative coolers are sometimes called swamp coolers and in this case, it’s a more apt name. They are a very simple and ingenious way to cool a house in dry areas. They merely pull air from the outside past wet pads and into the house. The humidity cools down the house. They work pretty well here in Salt Lake and about half the houses here have them. The one on our house must be covered with years of mold because it created a stink in our house that was impossible to track. That’s why I could smell it in the living room. It had nothing to do with the carpets. The air from the cooler could go anywhere in the house.

It also explained the Old Spice and lavender soap smells. Swamp coolers bring in air from outside. For all I know, we have a neighbor next door who really needs to update his cologne collection. Dude, Old Spice is called “old” for a reason. Hell, the lavender smell could have been the real lavender from the garden two houses over. All of those weird smells could be blamed on the cooler.

The Ghost Phone could have been one of those crossed wires. My dreams are simply my dreams. Now, the electric toothbrush falling on my head is a mystery. The only explanation that I can give for it is that when I reached up for the toothpaste, I might have knocked the electric toothbrush and it might have rocked around a bit before falling on my head. It was timed so well, that I just almost wanted it to be Stinky Ghost.

Summer is coming soon and so will the return of Stinky Ghost unless we clean out the trays and replace the cooler pads. I classify myself as an atheist who struggles with superstition. This is the kind of superstition with which I struggle. For some reason, I liked having a ghost in my house. I liked the idea of sharing the house with a stinky man in his twenties. Even now, I talk about Stinky Ghost as if he were real when I know that he isn’t.

Pick Me! » Stinky Ghost (Part 1 of 3)

Pick Me! » Stinky Ghost (Part 2 of 3)


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