Part 1

Curbing jealously is a skill that will create more happiness for you than almost any other thing you can master. When you are jealous of someone else, you are focused on that person instead of yourself. You are concentrating on what they have instead of working on bettering yourself. Promise yourself today that every time you feel jealous, you will stop, notice it, and work on getting through it.

The Mirror

Jealousy is a powerful tool. Whatever you envy in another can be used for your benefit. Are you resentful of your friend’s wit? The solution is easy: read some Oscar Wilde, watch some Monty Python movies, or obsess over every word <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Chandler ever said on Friends. Do whatever you need to learn how to be witty. Jealousy isn’t a bad feeling as long as you use it for your betterment. Think of jealousy as a mirror. It reflects to you what you wish you had in yourself. Quit hating the person excelling and start working on yourself.

Get the Skinny

Here’s a new concept, be honest with her. She’s your best friend. She deserves it. Tell her how much you wish you could be just as great as she is. Tell her that you really respect her excellence and then ask her how she did it. Revolutionary as the idea seems, asking for the information sometimes is the easiest way to get it. You’ll probably be surprised by your friend’s answer. Maybe she has the secret to perfection. Maybe you’ll find out exactly what you need to do to be as fabulous as she is.

Read Up On It

If you are looking for guidance for this issue on the web, there is very little for you to turn to. I found one article with advice for adolescents, but this problem haunts adults as well as teens. Aside from that, I couldn’t find anything.

There are several collections of quotations about jealousy from The Quotations Page, World of Quotes and The Quote Garden. Sometimes it just takes one well-phrased sentence to bring you to your senses.

There are many books available about this subject. My favorite is an all-around helpful book called Life 101 by Peter McWilliams. You can buy it at Amazon or read it online. It’s an amazing book and it has helped me through life’s tough spots.

Go to your local library and check out every book about jealousy that is available. If you don’t like them or they aren’t helpful to you, don’t even bother finishing them, just move on to the next one. There is a lot of information available for free.

The important thing is to realize that it’s an internal problem, not an external one. Other people don’t make you feel jealous. You are just noticing admirable qualities in another person and desire them for yourself, so go out and get them!