Pick Me!

A weblog by Laura Moncur


May Search Strings

Filed under: Blog Stuff — Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am

I usually do this on the first, but I plum forgot it. I’ve been talking about search strings a lot this month. I have spent far too much time trying to figure out how people find me. I am trying to get everyone who is looking for something interesting to read while they’re at work to find me and I want to recreate it whenever I can.

I was obsessing over it last Saturday. Mike came into the living room and asked me what I was doing. “I’m trying to see how these people found me with the phrase “buttercup’s baby morgenstern”. I am on page 15 right now on Google and I’m not showing up. I know there are other search engines than Google, but…” He cut me off, “That’s not the half of it.”

Just like the rest of the web world, the S-1 Filing of Google is of particular interest to us. Everyone has their personal estimate of how many servers they have ranging from 10,000 to 80,000 based on the 250 million dollars they have spent on hardware. There is no predicting which machine you’ll hit and each machine is a little different. There is no way I can track this stuff and I should just stop looking at the search strings, but I find myself drawn to them in a sick and morbid fascination.

tan lines

I don’t know what they were looking for. They ended up finding my entry about Barbies. When I search for that string, there is a lot of porn, but I have a hard time believing that the sentences, “Malibu Barbie was totally cool because she had a tan lines underneath her bathing suit. They were painted on, and if you took her out swimming too often, they would chip right off. I swear, what kinds of kids test these toys?” would have attracted someone looking for porn. Did you find what you were looking for?

william f. clare, best friend jealous everyone likes her, andi glowing fingernails, biggest ball of yarn in minnesota

All of these have had specific entries written about them. There are more hits now because I’ve talked about all of these things in more detail.

bosu ball, bosu gym

I have searched using this phrase. I was looking for a Bosu Ball to buy so that I could practice at home and I wouldn’t get embarrassed at the gym again. I’ve also been looking for exercise videos that use the Bosu Ball. I’ve also looked for exercises to do with it on my own. I have none of that here. All that poor person found here was whining and crying. If I helped only one person out there, then it was all worth it.

lumps on my back

When I said I had lumps on my back, it probably sounded more dramatic than it really is. They aren’t real lumps. They are more like knotted muscles that are tight and uncomfortable. The more they are massaged, the more relaxed I am and the knots go away. If you have real lumps on your back, don’t check the Internet for information, get them checked by a doctor.

akhenaten – religious reforms

Sorry I couldn’t help with your homework. Check out a couple of books from the library and read them. Borrow an A&E video from the library. That’s how I learned about him. Potential essay topic: Religious reforms are dangerous to your health ? Go With The Flow and Live Longer.

beautiful sentences

Only one person was looking for beautiful sentences. They ended up catching me in the act of trying to create a beautiful and quotable sentence. I don’t know if I was successful and I don’t know if the person that found me was pleased. I have an entire website of beautiful sentences. You should check it out.


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