1. Do you believe in ghosts?

I don’t really believe ghosts exist. I want them to exist. I think it’s the basic human fear of dying. If ghosts exist, then death isn’t the end. I realize that it’s an instinctual hope within me and combat it at every level, but that still doesn’t stop me from wanting them to exist.

2. If you were a ghost, what places would you haunt?

I guess it would depend on how I died. If I died at a nice old age of natural causes, then maybe I would haunt all the best castles of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Europe. It would give them that haunted flavor and I would get to do some site seeing.

I have always liked the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. I’ve never seen the Haunted Manor at Disney World or EuroDisney, so I can’t really comment on them. I have thought that I might someday like to be the “additional guest” to make them an even 1000 ghosts. Don’t you think it would be cool to haunt that ride at Disneyland? Cory Doctorow probably has dibs on the 1000^th ghost spot anyway.

3. What people would you haunt?

If I died a violent or untimely death, then I’d probably haunt the ones responsible for my demise. I think I would do evil things to them like hide their keys and glasses. I’d make noises that sounded like someone was trying to break into their house late at night. I’d give their dog nightmares.

If I died old and peacefully, then maybe I wouldn’t haunt anyone. I might follow around my loved ones until they died, but I don’t think that I’d haunt them. I’d just stick around and ward off car crashes and find their keys for them.

4. How would you decide when it was right to “go into the light”?

I don’t really believe in all of this stuff, but if I found myself as a ghost, then I would have to revise my entire world view and suddenly going into the light might actually mean something to me. I guess all of that would depend on how I died. If I left something undone, then I would want to finish all the business before I hitched a ride to the next life or eternal salvation or whatever.

I guess that’s why I try not to leave anything undone. Sure, there are books that I haven’t written and projects that sit unwoven. When it comes to saying what needs to be said, I say it. I’d rather say exactly what I feel than die incomplete. Being an atheist can do that to you, but I’ve also heard that being a Christian can do that to you too, so whatever.

5. What would you like to be reborn as?

Wouldn’t it be nice if reincarnation existed? I could choose my next life based on my karma accrued here. I don’t believe it, but if it were true, I would like to come into one of those perfect television families. My mom and dad could be Clair and Cliff Huxtable and I would never have to worry about them fighting or getting divorced. My brother and sisters might be a little wacky sometimes, but all they did fell into the range of norm. There would never be a question of whether I would have enough money for college and all I had to do was choose between MIT and Harvard. Of course, I’d go with MIT. I think I want an easy, lucky life this time around. What do I have to do to earn the karma points for that one next time around?