1. If your family was a television family, who would they be? Name family and/or television show.

Man, there isn’t anything on television that comes even close to what our family is like. If there was, I think it would have to be on HBO.

2. If you and your friends were a television show, what show would best describe i.e. personalities and/or day-to-day relations?

I like to imagine that Stacey, Dan, Mike and I are like “Friends.” I know it’s not true and there is no one-to-one correlation between us, but I like to imagine that it’s true.

3. What television show would best represent your life?

“Friends” is the closest thing to my life, except the people come from more normal families than I do. Chandler’s history is the closest to mine, I think. Of course, I would end up being a strange cross between Phoebe and Monica.

Sometimes I wonder if my life has been in imitation of “Friends.” Rather than having my own adventures, I’ve just appropriated theirs. That’s just too sad to think about.

4. What theme song would run for a television about you? May be one used by a show already or something different.

I think I would appropriate the Barney Miller theme song. It doesn’t have any words and it’s kind of jazzy. It’s old enough that it’s familiar, yet untraceable. Rather than try to find a new one, I’d use that.

On the other hand, maybe I’d choose “I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead” by Weird Al Yankovic. That one describes my personality a little better.

5. Who would you have play yourself? Friends and family?

Didn’t we just do this with the movies? Yeah, I think we did. Of course, I don’t think Janeane Garofalo would be willing to do TV, so maybe I should rethink the available actresses.