Pick Me!

A weblog by Laura Moncur


Confession of a FedEx Driver

Filed under: The Confessional — Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am

“I saw you driving your truck on I-89 at lunchtime. You didn’t see me because I was walking.”

“I try not to hit pedestrians.”

“I was on the sidewalk, so it’s not surprising that you didn’t see me.”

“Did you just want to get some fresh air?”

“The day was so beautiful that I just decided to take a walk.”

“The weather is so nice. I’m just dreading the winter. Once it snows, I’m ok, but until then I just dread it. I wish it was like this all year ‘round.”

Normal people stop talking at this point, but there is something the matter with me and I say the one thing that touches people off.

“Well, then you need to move to San Francisco.”

“I’m actually from San Francisco.”

“Really? That’s weird. Why’d ya move here?”

“Well, my wife is from here. We had four kids then.”

“This is a good place to raise kids.”

“We’ve been here seven years. Two of my kids have never seen San Francisco. I’ve never been back. We were going to go last year, but then we got pregnant. We were going to take the kids to Disneyland. I took them to Lagoon instead.”

“Disneyland rocks compared to Lagoon. You’ve gotta take the kids to San Francisco to see the Exploratorium.”

“Now we have six kids. My oldest is starting college this fall. We just took her up last weekend.”

“Wow! Do you miss her?”

“Yeah. She’s kind of headstrong like I am and I’m even missing the fighting. She’s only up at Snow College. Her roommate has a car, so we are going to see her this weekend.”

I’m feeling uncomfortable knowing so much information about our FedEx driver.

“Well, I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll see you Monday.”

He walks out and I’m stunned that our younger than his years FedEx guy has a daughter who’s going to college this year. I’m overcome with the feeling that I will never see a daughter of mine go to college and I suddenly hate him for it.


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