I had a pretty hard weekend. No matter how I look at it, being laid off feels like a rejection and a loss. Severance pay, unemployment insurance and COBRA don’t deal with the real pain when someone is laid off. Rejection is hard to swallow, even when they tell you that they didn’t want to reject you. Loss is hard to accept, even when they tell you that they didn’t want to lose you.

I took a whirlwind tour of the five stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think it was so fast for me because I wrote constantly all weekend long: pages and pages in my personal journal working through it. I think I spent the longest time on bargaining thinking, “Maybe if I had done this…” or “Maybe if I hadn’t done that…” or “Maybe I should have been clearer about this…”

The only truth that I know with a capital “K” is that they didn’t need two secretaries. I was very grateful for the time that I had there. I learned a lot and I found it a restful place to work. That is the only truth that I know and can prove, so that is all I’m going to concentrate on.

Plus, it’s amazing what a few good job interviews can do for my outlook.