I forgot it for a moment. I don’t know why. Sometimes when we are acting from the gut, we forget what we know in our head. Fear equals energy to me. Being scared feels almost the same as being excited. I feel antsy. I can’t sit still. I want to act.

I’ve been feeling fearful when I leave the house in the early morning to go to the gym. I’ve avoided walking outside if the sun is even close to setting. Because Mike’s bike was stolen in the dark hours of the morning, it’s understandable. The thing is, I forgot that fear equals energy.

For some reason that fixes it for me. Knowing that I’m scared and that I have an extra energy reserve waiting to be used during this time is very helpful. I can use it however I want. I could use it to start a neighborhood watch program, but I’m not. I could use it to volunteer at the homeless shelters, but I’m not. I could use it to find the scumbag who stole Mike’s bike, but I’m not.

I’m going to use the energy for entirely selfish things. I’m going to run a little bit extra every day. I’m going to write a little bit extra every day. I’m going to read a little bit extra each day. Until the fear goes away, I have additional energy at my disposal and I’m going to use it for myself.

I suddenly feel so much better.