Menstruation Training: What My Mother Couldn’t Teach Me
When I was in fifth and sixth grade, this is the menstruation video they showed us. I had no idea it was a Disney film and I’m shocked to find it here. I distinctly remember the girl riding the bicycle and telling me that it’s okay to exercise while I’m on my period. I had no idea that it was ever considered NOT okay to exercise while I was on my period, much less shower.
There is nothing inaccurate about this video. It explains things well. The only thing is it isn’t PRACTICAL. I didn’t need to know why I was menstruating, although that information is nice to know. I needed to know how to use those sticky pads. My mom had long ago moved on to tampons. The last time she used feminine napkins they were kept in place with a belt. A BELT!
My mom actually gave me a feminine napkin belt when I started menstruating because she hadn’t even heard of those new fangled pads that just stick to your underwear.
And all of this was before the invention of WINGS.
My biggest question was how do I attach this pad so that it doesn’t move around? How do I prevent stains on my undies? What does menstruum look like? How do I get the thing off without grossing myself out? How do I dispose of it?
NOTHING on the Internet tells me how to do this. Seriously! How can it be that I can search for this and get a ton of video responses on YouTube of girls giggling, but no helpful information? Sure you can watch a maturation video from 1954 showing you ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterii, but if you want to know how to use a pad when you’re on your period, I’m your only hope. Click on read more for all the gory details without giggling or diagrams of organs.
How do I attach a pad so that it doesn’t move around?
They still sell feminine napkins that don’t have wings, but don’t buy them. Seriously. They just end up not covering enough of your undies to prevent stains. Worse still, they move around when you wear them and end up making you uncomfortable.
I swear by pads with wings. It doesn’t matter which brand. The one I have shown here is Always brand, but ANY brand with wings works.
How do I prevent stains on my undies?
After years of experimenting, it’s easiest to change your pad when you’re sitting on the toilet.
If you position a napkin that has wings on it properly, you will never again stain your underwear. The key is WHERE you put the pad. The first step is to remove the pad from the wrapper. DO NOT remove the paper from the wings yet. Just remove the pad from the wrapper.
Most pads are folded into three (see photo on the right). Position the fold of the pad on the horizontal seam of the underwear.
Once you pat it all down , it should look like this. Now, you can remove that paper on the wings and wrap the wings around the sides of your underwear. With the wings in place, your pad should be stable AND your underwear safe from stains.
What does menstruum look like?
Okay, honestly, I never thought the phrase, “What does menstruum look like?” I wanted to know what it would look like, but I never knew that the bloody stuff that comes out is called menstruum. In fact, it’s such a rare word that it is showing up as a misspelling on my computer right now. I had to add it to my computer’s dictionary because we NEVER talk about that gross bloody stuff that comes out.
Even that Disney maturation movie just says that it’s a watery, velvety discharge. WTF?! Man, that makes it sound like a chocolate dish! I would NEVER describe menstruum as velvety. In fact, on my heaviest days, it’s like grape jelly.
Grape jelly is exactly what I used to simulate menstruum in these photos because even I can’t bear to show my REAL menstrum to the entire Internet. This is what it looks like on my heaviest days:
Part of it is runny and part of it is a thick, sticky gel. On heavy days it’s about the color of grape jelly as well. On light days, it merely looks like a brown stain.
How do I get the thing off without grossing myself out?
I know I shouldn’t be grossed out, but even after years of menstruating every month, I still get grossed out when I have to remove a pad. It’s especially hard on heavy days.
The first step is to loosen the wings on the sides. After wearing it a few hours, they’ve probably loosened themselves quite a bit already. Carefully grab the top of the pad and gently pull it off your underwear. If you are having an especially heavy day, you might want to simultaneously pull from the bottom and the top at the same time to keep the pad horizontal.
Once you’ve removed the pad, pull the wings to the sides and fold the pad onto itself in threes. There might be some sticky left on the pad to hold it together, but it will stay better if you wrap the wings around it.
How do I dispose of it?
Since you probably have to apply another pad, you should have the wrapper right there to wrap up the used pad. Some brands, like Always, have a reusable seal so you can just wrap up the pad and have it stay together in the garbage can. The ones that don’t are still okay to wrap up your pad, but they don’t stay closed all that well.
NEVER flush your pad. ALWAYS put it in the little garbage can in the bathroom. If your family doesn’t have a garbage bin in your bathroom, spend the five bucks to get one and keep it emptied yourself. It’s so much easier to just dispose of it in the bathroom than have to walk it out to the garbage can in the kitchen (plus it’s more sanitary).
You can see more pictures of the process of positioning and removing a pad here:
I originally wanted to film a video showing how to do this, but I could never figure out how to do that on my own. I was completely unable to find a good place to put the tripod and I have no one to do the filming for me. So, it has to be pictures instead of a film.
By the way, you’re completely on your own if you want to learn how to insert a tampon.
When they showed the movie to the girls when I was in primary school (in the late 1950’s), it was a “super-secret” thing. All of the boys had to go to the gym to play kick ball or something. We spent the time speculating on what the movie was showing and pestering the gym teacher (who, at that time, could care less) about what this secret movie was the girls were seeing. It was the topic for weeks afterwards and a few of the girls would drop these seemingly outrageous hints about the movie. Now it’s on YouTube for the world to see and I don’t care about it any more! Thanks! Roland
Comment by Roland Smith — 12/15/2007 @ 9:33 am
Roland,
They did the same to us when they showed this movie in the early 80’s. I hear things are better now. The boys in my nephew’s school had their own movie to watch while the girls watched theirs.
Maybe the movies now show you how to actually deal with menstruation instead of merely telling you what it is.
Best, Laura
Comment by Laura Moncur — 12/15/2007 @ 12:50 pm
I can’t believe you showed that. You crack me up. I agree with the wings – great improvement. Ok, my tip of the day- when you start your period, wear red or black underwear- no more ruined underwear.
Comment by B. — 12/15/2007 @ 2:28 pm
My daughter just started her period a couple days ago. She knows what to do but she keeps complaining that her pad doesn’t always work. She puts it in one spot where it covers up a blood spot on her panties. Then the next time there’s a spot on the opposite side of her panties. I don’t know what to do is the a problem with the brand, or her size, or something else. I don’t know how to help her. What do you think the problem is?
Comment by Alyssa Moreno — 3/7/2008 @ 8:13 pm
Wow, I can totally relate to your story about your Mom giving you that belt when you first got your period. So did mine! You can’t imagine how I felt a few years later when I discovered that you can buy pads that stick to your underwear. I had been suffering for several years with that stupid, annoying, messy belt! My mother was always so behind the times! Just wanted to share that with you.
Comment by Chana Eliyahu — 5/29/2008 @ 9:24 am
I do not know your particulars, (age, culural, etc) but you did a woderful job explaining a subject that is difficult to say the least. You are commended for your resourcefulness (grape jelly, who’d thunk?) and narrative style.
I will definitely use this for my granddaughters. The film is one that I watch when I was a younger. (53 now).
Keep up the great work!
Comment by Gladys — 9/29/2008 @ 10:40 pm
I am a freshmen in high school right now and there was no dividing up the girls and the boys while we watch these videos. The guys all stared at all the girls after the video about periods and I thought that half of them where going to run out of the class run screaming. It was kinda funny. Lucky I was gone the day they showed the boys one I heard that it was quiet an event. Thanks for this thought it made me feel not as stupid about things of this subject matter.
Comment by Sarah — 3/15/2009 @ 11:41 pm
Alyssa: If your daughter is having spots show up at the back end, just beyond where the pad covers her undies, have her fold a small piece of toilet paper and place it where her skin meets (not “inside” her, but where the skin meets so the paper doesn’t fall out). That will keep the menstrum from running down towards the back. I have saved many underwear (and especially bed sheets while I’m sleeping) by using that trick (wish my mom had told me when I was younger, 6 years of ruined sheets and panties!).
Comment by Shanna — 4/21/2009 @ 9:38 pm
Hi, i want to thank you for the info i just started my period and i am lost. CAN YOU EMAIL me some tips. and tell me why we have to go through this what is the point? thank you again.
haylee
Comment by Haylee — 4/30/2009 @ 10:54 pm
Ok. This was just sick. Well, I guess it could be informativ and all that, but seriously? This is the internet, and not your personally diary. You’re probably just trying to help out the kids, but this is just dragging it too far! I don’t even know how I ran into this site, but one thing’s for certain : I’ve seen more than enough :P
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to insult you, or being rude in any way, but this is just my opinion. If I were you I would seriously consider getting this removed.If the kids doesn’t find any information about it on the internet, there’s always other ways to find out. I guess it’s good information though.. but let the teachers at school take care of that part!
Caspar. By the way, excuse my bad english, I’m from Norway ;) But I think you got the point, eh?
Comment by Caspar. — 5/7/2009 @ 5:59 pm
thank you for that. I’m trying to teach Autistic pre-teens about menstruation and those photos are very very helpful!
Comment by jennifer — 6/12/2009 @ 1:51 pm
Wow, that video is so much more informative than whatever we got in elementary school. Now I’m only 23, so when I started my period for the first time, my mom was way past the napkin belt so she was good enough to tell me about it. Though the first day, I still had to ask a friend who had already had her period for a year before I started mine for some extra pads. My friend, one whom I’m very close to, still remembers when I gave her “the look” and I didn’t have to say anything, she just handed me a pad.
I was fortunate enough to have had many conversations with my mom about it because the video they showed us was vague and had almost no viable information at all. In fact, I don’t really remember that it had much of anything. But it was a big secret in school, we all thought it was sex ed, and I don’t remember actually understanding it when we saw it, and I was an honors student… I don’t know what the other 5th grade kids thought. My mom and I still talk about periods, though she’s past menopause, but around the time I first had mine, she was having horrible problems with her own leading up to her menopause. My best friend and I also openly communicate about our periods, and I think that’s so important that it shouldn’t be something secret and guarded.
Anyway, I’m really glad you’ve posted this for that reason. I’ve known girls who grew up in households where menstruation is a taboo subject. I know if I had just grown up with only my dad, I wouldn’t have had any advantage at all when it came to my first period because he won’t talk about it at all. He doesn’t even tolerate it when I talk about the horrible cramps I get. This is a really good website, ignore the haters :) They just don’t feel the feminine connection.
Comment by EK — 8/4/2009 @ 3:38 pm
Hi im 11 yrs old & got my period. i didnt tell my mom, and i just steal some of her pads (HUGE!) im neveeeer gonna tell her
Comment by Stace — 12/2/2009 @ 8:23 pm
Hi, first: sorry, I can`t speak english very well but I´ll try it. I think that site is very helpful. my mum told me how to use a pad, but for other girl it could be important.
@stace: you should do it! it will help you. and of course there are dangers like TSS (so it is called in Germany)
Elisa
Comment by Elisa — 6/21/2010 @ 8:17 am
wow this was really helpful. When I started my period I somehow knew what it was and ran to steal my mom’s pads. I told her after like an year I think. Haha and I liked the grape jelly part. Yeah I use and dispose my pads the same way you do but I’m seriously considering buying those cups (divacup).
Comment by Karthika — 7/8/2010 @ 8:51 pm
Hi Laura, Well done, bravo! You opened a suject that anyone would like and DARE to talk about it as directley as you could and did. God help you that help our young girls.
Thanks, Ellena Milano, Italia
Comment by Ellena — 7/12/2010 @ 5:41 am
good explanations.it s very helpful for beginers
Comment by priya — 2/14/2011 @ 6:55 pm
For the question regarding have the videos gotten any better, I can say emphaticaly no!! They still do not tell you much about how to use an actual pad or tampon. Most videos are put out by the brand manufactuers. They have these whole kits you get now. A booklet to read that praises their brand over others and tells you what to expect. Although it’s always the biology and never the real questions like how does it feel, or what does it look like, what to do when you get it at school, etc. Some samples are included along with cupons so you can save a dollar on their brand of course.
Comment by Nora — 2/19/2011 @ 1:06 am
i am having this huge clots of blood from my monthly period and i feel nausea most of the time and i usually change 8-10 times a day. i have seek medical advices and they only give tablets but it doesn’t seem to help. I sometimes have pain on my dummy on both my left and right sides. This pain is really painful and i can’t handle it anymore. I also feel like i don’t have the energy to walk. please help me out
Comment by corrie — 7/18/2011 @ 2:21 am
Hey, I’m 11 yrs old (B-Day 6th July IM YOUNG >:O) I haven’t started my period yet but I think I will soon because I have been seeing vaginal discharge in my undies :o . Thanks for the info, this will help me when I do have my period and is it me or is that loads of people my age don’t tell their moms’ and steal their pads ._.
Comment by Sugar x — 4/12/2012 @ 8:10 am
Hey, Laura. This is a very nice thing on menstruation. I’m a guy, and lol, I feel really bad for girls just because of this, and other stuff. Feel better, you gorgeous woman. :D <33333. I love you.
Comment by Jordan — 1/16/2013 @ 3:19 pm
To all the respected haters: THUMBS DOWN!
Good idea, intelligent narrations, illustrative guide.. I appreciate a lot.. Though im a boy, i understand how important it is to share this kind of information, yeah its helpful to many.. Some of the girls tend to find it a taboo and its their loss in being shy and orthodox to keep it secretive, you are brave enough to put this up on internet.. Lots of appreciation to ya..! :) Its always a curiosity for men like me to explore the hidden science, yeah this was a part of hidden biology which i wanted to explore and your info helped me.. A lot is found in books and internet but your site was the true practical info.. :P Thanks.. Though, I would have liked it better to get to see the real illustrations switched with grape jelly, but you make sense, that kind of photos would terrorize internet and site visitors.. :D
Comment by Mihir — 2/19/2013 @ 5:39 am
Am a boy though…I’ve been curious to know more about this issue .But can never dare to ask even my girlfriend. This is quite helpful.So much detailed than any I’ve come across.keep up.
Comment by Tedd — 9/14/2013 @ 7:58 am
It is amazing how patriarchal and machista that disney video is. Portraying women and girls as ALWAYS and ONLY being: “pretty, beautiful, play with dolls, clean the house, make the food, look good for men, clean up for men, follow this role in society”.
Thank you for the information on using pads. That was actually good.
Comment by Lencho Patasplanax — 11/6/2013 @ 6:17 pm