What Does It Mean To Be A Girl
I’ve been reading Megan Wallent’s blog and commenting FAR too much.
Megan is transitioning from Micheal to Megan. Almost every entry she writes makes me think about what it means to be a girl. It all reminds me of a song by Suzanne Vega, “As Girls Go.”
You make a really good girl
As girls go
Still kind of look like a guy
I never thought to wonder why
The most important line of that song is the title, “As Girls Go.” It implies that underlying scrutiny that girls put each other through CONSTANTLY. It was worse in junior high and high school, but I find myself surprised that it still occurs when we are adults. Most surprising of all is what I’ve noticed about myself.
I find myself quick to point out the spots where she “still kind of looks like a guy.” In my mind I’m just “helping,” but it’s more than that. I’ve written about this before:
I never wanted to be the girl to say, “Why would you wear THOSE pants?” Yet, I find myself nit-picking at Megan. It was ME that mentioned something about her watch. ME. I’m the one who has to constantly NOT buy a men’s watch because it has more features than the girl’s watch. I guess if I had to sacrifice features to beauty, I figured Megan did too. Uncool, Laura, Uncool.
If I wasn’t worried about looking too butch, I would buy the men’s Fossil watch with the black metal and the negative display. All the features and big and chunky. It’s the watch I keep trying to get Mike to buy for himself because it’s so pretty. I should just buy it for myself.
I am so far from the kind of girl who should be giving Megan advice. I’m the kind of girl who buys seven red shirts and seven pairs of jeans so that I don’t have to decide what I’m going to wear every morning. It’s always the same. Red shirt and jeans. Sometimes I go crazy and mix it up with khakis. In fact, now that I don’t work in an office anymore, I only pull out the high heels for really special occasions.
I’m not going to comment on Megan’s site anymore. She seems to be handling things just fine without some catty girl asking, “Why would you wear THAT watch?”