I’ve been writing my own questions for my Friday entries for the last few months, but it seems that someone has revitalized The Friday Five. I’m a few weeks behind, so I am going to do the Friday Five from one of the previous weeks.

There’s a movie being made about your life! Which celebrity will play…

1. You? Why?

Janeane Garofalo because she has brown hair, is intelligent and outspoken. I always secretly wanted to be Janeane, so it’s only fitting that she play me when my life story is put on the big screen.
2. Your love interest? Why?

Tom Everett Scott should play Michael. They have similar hair. Mike’s more on the dark side of tall dark and handsome than Tom is, but he’s the closest guy I can think of besides Tom Hanks, who is too old to play Mike.

3. Your best friend? Why?

My sister, Stacey, would be played by the lovely Kirsten Dunst. Of course, I liked her better before she cut off all her hair, but she can grow it back for my movie. Her portrayal of Claudia, the child vampire, in Interview With The Vampire, was a perfect depiction of Stacey as a child. She was a little adult in a child’s body.

4. Your enemy? Why?

My enemy! Wow! I don’t really have a nemesis. I’ve lamented about this in the past. I haven’t had any volunteers for arch nemeses. As it stands, my movie will have to remain enemyless. Of course, there’s always The Man. He’s always trying to bring me down.

5. Any family member? Why?

DAN! We can’t forget Dan, my brother-in-law and Stacey’s husband. Who would I have play Dan? Jack Black‘s hair is too dark and he would look silly with it dyed blond. Jack Black’s character from Hi Fidelity would be perfect for Dan. Maybe we can take a little creative license and just let Dan’s character have brown hair.

I just realized that this Friday Five might really piss off everyone. I can see it now, “Kirsten Dunst? I’ve always considered myself a Jada Pinkett Smith!” or maybe, “Tom Everett Scott, who the hell is he? That Thing You Do?! I hate that movie!” or even, “Jack Black?! I’m much more like the Rob Gordon character. I thought you hated that movie? Does that mean you hate ME?”

Oh well, if you’re in my movie, I get to choose the actors, not you. If you don’t like my choices, tough. Ok, if you absolutely HAVE to have Jada Pinkett Smith, I’m ok with that. We’ll just have some explaining to do.