Back in October, Dooce posted this picture with the phrase, “Can you do this with your cat?” It took me over a month, but the answer is, “Why, yes… Yes, I can.”

What I didn’t get a picture of was Sid, the dog, hovering over Linda because there was a doggie treat on her head. He’s so scared of her that he didn’t dare reach over to get it, even when we told him it was okay. In the firey ending, Linda hissed at him and ran away, leaving the treat in her wake. Sid gladly ate the discarded treat and Linda glared at me from the other side of the room.

It was totally worth it…

I took these pictures before I remembered that I had bought those funny doggie treats that look like the ones in Dooce’s picture. We had a great photo shoot before I opened the treat cupboard and attracted Sid’s attention by placing treats on Linda’s head.

All animals love Kathleen. She has known Linda since she was a kitten, so when Kathleen visited last week, Linda graced her with her presence. She went so far as to climb in Kathleen’s lap. A couple hours later, Kathleen asked, “Is Linda always that greasy?” I cringed and answered, “Yeah… I guess I should wash her, but you know how it is to wash a cat…” Kathleen nodded and I felt the shame of being a neglectful pet owner.

The next day, we clipped her claws and locked her in the bathroom. It took both of us, but we were able to wet her down, soap her up and rinse her off without either of us getting injured. When we opened the bathroom door, Sid, the dog, was jealously waiting for his bath.

Yesterday, Strebe was visiting. “Man, that cat needs a bath.” Mike and I just rolled our eyes. I guess she always looks greasy.

This picture would be perfect except Linda has a piece of kitty litter stuck to her nose.

Maggie, my cat, is sitting on my lap, purring loudly. Since I’ve started working from home, she has made it a habit to sit on my lap the entire time I write. Sometimes I feel like she’s glad that I’m home because she gets extra attention, but most times, I just feel like a warm pillow.

Sid, the dog, has taken to following me around the house in the hopes that I’ll drop some food. He’s rewarded about fifty percent of the time. It’s not like I’m feeding him treats. I’m just clumsy and sometimes food falls on the floor. Anything down there is fair game to him. He loves carrots. He thinks that grape tomatoes are toys. He’s quick to take anything. He’ll take it to the food dish and start eating it there. If it’s good, it’s gone. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll find it on the floor with a couple of teeth marks in it.

No wonder we have mice. Linda, my other cat, and I saw one a couple of weeks ago. It was only an inch long (not including the tail) and it scurried between the floor boards and the wall, just like in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. Linda jumped off the couch and paid vigil at the point where the mouse disappeared for almost an hour. She was very quiet and sat still, just waiting, but the little guy was in the basement and long gone.

Maggie found a mouse under my desk. Mike and I were snuggling on the couch with Maggie when she jumped off us quickly scuttling under the desk. We saw her pounce on it and play with it for a bit, but it must have gotten away. This house is over a hundred years old. There are holes and pathways for small animals all over. With the settling on the northeast side of the house, the cracks are getting even larger.

I usually clip the cats’ claws, but since I realized that we have a mouse problem, I’ve left their talons unshorn. I don’t want to have to call an exterminator. I don’t want to have to get a live trap or some poison. I don’t even want Maggie or Linda to actually catch a mouse. All I want is for them to scare them away so I don’t have to deal with them. I’m even at peace with cohabitating with the mice. Maybe they’ll eat the grape tomatoes I accidentally drop. Sid sure won’t.

I was running on the treadmill last week and glanced over the room. “I really should pick up that clutter and either throw it away or put it in the basement,” I thought to myself. That’s where the cats like to sleep and when they are being adorable, I would really like to take a picture of them without clutter in the background.

A couple of days ago, it got so bad that Linda slept ON the clutter. All the cats want their light therapy and if the sunbeam is on the clutter, they will just sleep on the clutter. That’ll teach me to clean up after myself…

The dog smelled like Cheetos the other morning. I thought I was imagining it until I saw Linda, the cat, walk up to his sleeping form and smell him. He opened his eyes, but stayed still while she sniffed him. If I find out that Mike is feeding the dog Cheetos, I’m gonna…

Ok, I don’t care if Mike feeds the dog Cheetos, but I know for a fact that we don’t have any in the house.

Maybe Stinky Ghost is back with a new habit: eating junk food in the bedroom.

I was sitting on my chair in the bedroom when I noticed that Maggie was cleaning Linda. Usually these sessions end up with a cat fight, so I ran to get my camera. Three minutes later, Maggie casually jumped down from the bed and it was all over: no cat fight, just a quiet moment in my life captured on film.

It’s no wonder that Maggie pukes up huge white hairballs on a regular basis…

I’m surprised I haven’t talked about this online because it has been such a stress in my life. Right after Christmas, Mike and I realized that neither of us had seen Linda, our orange tabby cat all day. We tried the usual method of luring her out by opening the cheese drawer in the refrigerator and pulling out the cheese. Even opening up the package, calling her name and saying the word, “cheese” didn’t bring her out of hiding. We searched her favorite hiding places and found her under the bed sleeping. We pulled her out and she was lethargic and unwilling to eat, so we took her to the vet the next day.

A blood test showed that she is in the early stages of kidney failure.

She’s nearly fourteen years old, so this wasn’t a surprise to us. We almost lost Linda about ten years ago when she contracted Feline Infectious Anemia. She was lucky to survive it and we had both dealt with the idea of losing her back then. Every year we’ve had her since has felt like a gift and a surprise, so hearing that she might not be with us much longer hasn’t really hit us yet. She survived a nearly fatal disease so long ago. I almost believe she’ll be able to kick this kidney thing too.

She is much better now. We have been feeding her K/D food. She hasn’t gotten dehydrated since then, but if she does, the vet taught me how to give her fluids subcutaneously so that she won’t get weak. Sure, we have to change the kitty litter box more often than most people do, but that’s alright. It’s worth it to keep her around for a couple more years.

The only disconcerting thing is that she is obviously looking for a place to die. Every time a cupboard is opened, she is investigating it. Every time we have opened the door to the small shelf basement, she has tried to get down there. She is looking for a hiding place that is better than her “under the bed” option, which obviously didn’t work last time.

She was always a hider in times of stress. When we moved to the condo in Barrington Park, she somehow opened a drawer, crawled out of the drawer and into the back area of the cabinet. She hid there for hours while we frantically searched. We were only able to find her when she realized that she didn’t know how to get out and started meowing.

Funny thing is, I’m a hider too. I prefer small, enclosed areas to work and relax. Small cubicles never bothered me. I used to do my school work in my closet at my parent’s home in West Valley. I put my desk in there with a light and I would close the closet door. It was the privacy I needed to study in a room I shared with my sister.

Now that I’m an adult, you would think that I wouldn’t feel the need for a hiding spot, but sometimes things get out of hand. Since Linda has been sick, she’s not the only one looking for a hiding place…

We are at the vet. They squeezed us in at 3:45 pm and now we’re waiting in the exam room. A dog is whining in the other room. Linda is happy to stay in her box. Bad mojo, man, bad mojo…

On a side note, I’m continually amazed at how good a photo I can get with the dime-sized lens on my Treo.

Ever since the desk drama, I’ve been trying to find a place for this storage unit. I put it in a disputed spot. I thought it was okay there. Mike didn’t want it there.

Last night, Linda made the decision for us. It stays.

We had to have Linda put to sleep today. I feel like crap. This year has been hell.

Here are some pictures of Linda when she looked better:

• Pick Me! » Why, yes… Yes, I can.

• Pick Me! » Linda Posing in the Sunbeam

• Pick Me! » A Bath For Linda

• Pick Me! » Kitty Litter

• Pick Me! » Sleeping on the Clutter

• Pick Me! » Maggie Cleaning Linda

• Pick Me! » I’m a Hider

• Pick Me! » Taking Linda to the Vet

• Pick Me! » Linda’s New Hiding Place

It was so strange to wake up this morning without Linda there to boss me around:

Wake up.

Let the dog out.

Wake up Mike.

Feed the dog.

Give me my medicine.

I’ve never known a cat who could communicate the phrase:

It’s time to feed the dog, but he’s not here. Maybe you left him outside?

Unfortunately, she could never understand that we had taken Sid to the kennel.

What am I going to do without my autistic cat?

My photo of Linda with the kitty litter on her nose showed up on this website:

• lolsecretz.com: had 2 menny cheezburgers

This is what they did to her:

After having to have her put to sleep back in September, I’m still a little touchy about it. I left his comment on the site:

Actually, Linda died of kidney failure.

Funny thing is, the person who made this didn’t notice that Linda had a piece of kitty litter stuck to her nose.

There was so much more potential for funny and it was just lost on this one…

Since they didn’t ask permission to use my picture AND they made a joke about her being sick, I’m trying really hard not to be bugged by this.

I’m reluctant to see what kind of LOL they’ll give her with this photo…

I’ve received a lot of joy from LOLCats. I realize LOLSecretz is a different website than LOLCats, but they used the LOLCatBuilder to put it there. I never uploaded Linda’s picture to their website and it is freakin’ impossible to find it in their collection. Do I call our lawyer to have them remove it?

My daily dose of funny cats has kept me happy despite this hell of a year.

I’m trying really hard not to be bugged by this…

Before Linda died, I saw something like this every day. Now that Linda is gone, Maggie is so lonely. Even when she sits on my lap all day, she meows.

I can’t be another cat. I can’t bear to get another cat. This video makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Download this video for your iPod

On another note, this video was filmed over a year ago. I never posted it because Mike is sleeping on the bed behind the cats. The reason you don’t get to see more of the cats playing is because they woke him up and he kicked them off the bed.

I haven’t been awoken by a cat fight on my bed for months.