I am continually surprised at the search strings that put me on the first page of Google.

Pick Me! is #2 on Google for the search string, “lame excuse for not going to a party.” This is the entry that it talks about.

• Pick Me! » Excuses

The Christmas Season is here, which means there are a bunch of stupid Christmas parties that you’ll be invited to. If you don’t want to go, have the balls to say, “I’m not going to attend this year. Thanks for inviting me.”

• Nightmare two hours ago. Haven’t been able to get back to sleep yet. Tried the relaxing tones of Animal Crossing, but it didn’t work. #
• Mystery sliding rocks! http://tinyurl.com/262uja #

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• @Bonny Happy Birthday! #
• Finished printing and preparing 4 Starling Fitness Journal to be sent tomorrow. I’m surprised at how many have sold this month. #
• Tired, but too sad to go to bed. #
• Make iPod Ad Silhouettes using Photoshop: http://tinyurl.com/y5rra2 #
• Hand bound Journals: http://tinyurl.com/yvnqv5 I wonder if I could do this for hand publishing a book. #
• Wow… All my Twitter friends are asleep right now. I don’t want to sleep, but I’m feeling the silence of peer pressure all around me. #
• Good morning, Twitter friends! #
• @jensimmons WTF? Were you in the show? I would think you would remember it if you were filmed all the time. #
• @kitykity It’s the one downside to living away from them. I’ve considered moving MANY times to stave off the loneliness. #
• @kitykity SXSW is in March. I haven’t heard about Pixelodeon yet… #
• @basykes Use the @ sign with NO space between it and the name. #
• Back from walking 3.25 miles. I’m a little dizzy. #

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• Every pastime of mine devolves into spreadsheet analysis, even Animal Crossing. #
• Up, procrastinating workout by working. #
• @justsomeguy No, I hadn’t seen that plugin for using WordPress on my iPhone. I SO need that! Thank you!! #
• @justsomeguy Looks like you’re going to have to homebrew your DS soon! #
• @apperceptions Testing came through loud and clear. #
• At the Apple Store, waiting for a genius to fix my beloved red iPod. #

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• I’m still 3rd on the list and my appointment was at 5:10pm. Why did I set an apt? #
• They have my iPod in the back now. I hate to see it go away from me. #
• Up. Email answered. Sold another Starling Fitness Journal :) I will be running with the old iPod today. Waiting for the new one to come in. #

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At the Utah Geek Dinner last week, Joseph Scott brought WordPress t-shirts. I scrambled past anyone in my way (sorry about your toes) to get one. Ever since Nicole Lee showed off her very cool red WordPress t-shirt, I have wanted one.

Thanks, Joseph!

• Just noticed that the abbreviation "WP" has switched from WordPerfect to WordPress in my mind. Good-bye final vestiges of the 90’s… #

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• Up. I’m going to run on the treadmill now. See ya… #
• Back from my run, but now I’ve got to hurry and shower to pick up Kristen on time. #

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The one good thing about having little is that you have little to maintain.

Yesterday, Mike and I looked at a house. We have considered moving closer to Matt and Mel and there was a house available two doors down from them. It was a little larger than the house we lived in when we lived in West Jordan. The great room alone was almost as big as our current house.

It was tempting. That great room would hold three times more geeks than our current house can hold. CodeAway could grow and we could still host it in our home. The master bedroom had one of those huge Roman tubs and a separate shower. The basement was almost finished and Mike could have had his choice of four rooms to put his office. That home gym I had to give up when we moved? It was already set up in the unfinished portion of the basement.

Yeah, it was tempting…

At least it SHOULD have been. I miss that house we used to live in, but walking through that house that should have been PERFECT for us, just filled me with anxiety. That 3818 square-foot home was carpeted. All that vacuuming. I had forgotten how much of my time had been relegated to vacuuming that West Jordan house.

That Roman tub? Yeah, it would have been a constant reminder that I need to RELAX, but whenever I did take the time to relax, I would find that the water heater doesn’t have enough hot water to fill the damn thing. I should relax in a lukewarm, half-filled tub? Nah…

All those empty rooms? We need ONE extra room, not three. What happens to rooms that are unneeded? I know I would fill them up with furniture or projects. I’d have another house full of junk that I never really used.

Last night, Mike and I realized that we CAN’T live next to Matt and Mel. We just CAN’T live in a house that big again and ALL the houses in their neighborhood are freakin’ mansions compared to where we live now.

This morning, we woke up to a foot of snow and more falling. I thought of the huge driveway at the house we visited last night and cringed. The driveway at our current house is tiny and it only took me a half hour to shovel it. My desk overlooks the front yard instead of being isolated in a room meant for a child somewhere in a cavernous house. After shoveling the heavy and slushy snow, I am happy to live in this tiny house.

• @Akula How did you get Twhirl to work? It won’t accept my user name and password. I KNOW they’re valid. #
• @nicolelee That’s funny! Mike and I made waffles for the first time in MONTHS today! #
• Procrastinating shoveling the snow. I just decided to quit and just shovel the white stuff! #
• That didn’t take long. Angel neighbor snowblowed my walk, so all I had to do was the tiny driveway. #
• Writing a quick entry before hitting the treadmill. #
• @meriwilliams God, I love Suzanne Vega! She just keeps on being amazing! #
• @libel_vox Go with the artificial deer meat. It tastes better… #

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• I need to move out of UT. Glenn Beck has backed up the freeway for MILES!! #
• I’m up! I’M UP!!! Going with my family today. We’ve had a busy weekend. #

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• Awake. Yet another blow to our family yesterday. This year has been freakin’ hell. #

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• Hello, Twitches. Trying to organize family stuff today. No one wants my help, so I guess I’ll just step back and be available. #
• Attention UT Geeks: Utah Social Media / Facebook Developers Garage at Twelve Horses at 7pm tonight. http://tinyurl.com/37pvlm #

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• Hello, Twitches. Trying to organize family stuff today. No one wants my help, so I guess I’ll just step back and be available. #
• Attention UT Geeks: Utah Social Media / Facebook Developers Garage at Twelve Horses at 7pm tonight. http://tinyurl.com/37pvlm #

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Start saving, folks. Every penny you earn right now might keep you alive during the Second Dot Bomb.

• Hey Utah Geeks, @NakedJen is moving to SLC! She’s working for Sundance! #

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Stacey has been sick. I remember her coughing at the Halloween party, so she has been sick for almost two months now. She coughed through our entire trip to Las Vegas last month. She coughed through our Sub-For-Santa shopping last Sunday. She coughed when I talked to her on the phone today.

There is something about her coughing that brings me back to our childhood. She coughed all through our childhood. I used to be able to find her in a crowd by the sound of her cough. Her coughing now sounds exactly as it did when we were children. Her voice may have changed when we grew up, but her coughing hasn’t.

When I hear her cough, it stirs a childhood protection in me. I’m the older sister. I’m supposed to watch over her. I’m supposed to boss her around. We lost her and Dan in J.C. Penney’s on Sunday and I heard her cough from across the store. I was able to tell which department of the store they were in solely by ONE cough heard from yards away.

I feel like I should be worried because this cold has clung to her lungs and throat for so long, but instead, I feel like I did when we were children. Every time she coughs, it feels like I’m a child again. Grandma and Grandpa are still alive. We still live at home. Mom still protects us from Dad. The worst thing we can imagine is elementary school drama. And Christmas is coming…

• Ike Turner died. Tina outlasted him. I’m cheering for her now. http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/12/12/obit.ike.turner.ap/index.html #
• Up. Considering exercising earlier today. #
• Feeling uninspired today. Gonna go exercise and see if that fixes it. #

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• I feel like I should post something here to prove I’m alive. Don’t have much else to say, though… I’m alive… #
• @ThomAllen Letting things go is the hardest task for me to do. I applaud you! Good job, buddy! #
• Hey all: Twitter will be offline tomorrow for 12 hours. Maybe they will be more reliable when they come back. #

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When I was in fifth and sixth grade, this is the menstruation video they showed us. I had no idea it was a Disney film and I’m shocked to find it here. I distinctly remember the girl riding the bicycle and telling me that it’s okay to exercise while I’m on my period. I had no idea that it was ever considered NOT okay to exercise while I was on my period, much less shower.

There is nothing inaccurate about this video. It explains things well. The only thing is it isn’t PRACTICAL. I didn’t need to know why I was menstruating, although that information is nice to know. I needed to know how to use those sticky pads. My mom had long ago moved on to tampons. The last time she used feminine napkins they were kept in place with a belt. A BELT!

My mom actually gave me a feminine napkin belt when I started menstruating because she hadn’t even heard of those new fangled pads that just stick to your underwear.

And all of this was before the invention of WINGS.

My biggest question was how do I attach this pad so that it doesn’t move around? How do I prevent stains on my undies? What does menstruum look like? How do I get the thing off without grossing myself out? How do I dispose of it?

NOTHING on the Internet tells me how to do this. Seriously! How can it be that I can search for this and get a ton of video responses on YouTube of girls giggling, but no helpful information? Sure you can watch a maturation video from 1954 showing you ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterii, but if you want to know how to use a pad when you’re on your period, I’m your only hope. Click on read more for all the gory details without giggling or diagrams of organs.

(Continue Reading…)

• Trying to print Xmas cards. Stupid printer is having trouble with cardstock. This is supposed to be EASIER than buying them! #
• @meriwilliams I’ve never seen it in a store, but it looks just like something we Americans would eat up… #
• Why do I have to cram a paper in the manual feed to get the printer to take cardstock from Tray 2? HP? Are you listening to me?! #

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• @ThomAllen Good morning! #
• @rolandksmith Please, Zod, protect me from the periodontist chair. Let me live my life without gum disease and I will be good, I swear. #
• @libel_vox More stable would be nice. #
• @Ladanea Sounds like an urban legend to me. #
• @billbrandon Thanks for following me! #
• Holy Zod! It’s lunch already and I haven’t gotten anything done yet!!! #
• Just finished my 3.75 mile run. Nike+ calibration almost worked. Only 0.04 miles off! #
• Don’t forget Andy Sernovitz today at 4pm at the Miller Business Center in SLC! http://www.jibberjobber.com/blog/archives/1029 #
• @ThomAllen Gotcha loud and clear! You coming to Andy Sernovitz today? #

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• Up and ready to go weigh-in at Weight Watchers. #
• Make a Christmas Sparkle Ball out of plastic cups, Xmas lights and a soldering gun. http://www.sparkleball.com/make.htm #
• @TheDruidXpawX I have to admit that your Santa hat does bring the cheer. Mike is usually a Xmas grumphead, but you shut him right up! #

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• @ashbuckles And let’s not forget @ThomAllen ‘s wife, who was playing Xmas music before Halloween! #
• @ThomAllen Just do like @TheDruidXpawX Put on a Santa Hat and join in the melee! #
• Good morning, Twitches! Anybody up for a Geek Lunch here? http://www.wasatchwingz.com/ #
• @jensimmons I did the EXACT same thing to my gloves! I only cut the thumb and forefingers. #
• I’m going to get my run done early. I’m going to Wasatch Wingz for lunch at 1pm. Join me, they have Wi-Fi! http://www.wasatchwingz.com/ #
• @ThomAllen Can you meet us for lunch at 1pm today? #
• @ThomAllen Cool! When Matt wakes up, will you tell him about it? I’m going to go on my run now. #
• @TheDruidXpawX I was worried about that. See you next time. #
• @libel_vox Please come to lunch today. I want you to check out this place for CodeAway. #
• @alizasherman I think Spock was the best character in the original series. That’s all I got to say about that… #
• UT Geeks: Meet me for lunch at 1pm at Wasatch Wingsz! http://www.wasatchwingz.com/ #
• @libel_vox I’ll be there until a little after 3pm. Will you be able to make it later? #
• @libel_vox I went there last night. Cool place. Can reserve a Sat for ourselves for $12 a person. #
• Heading out to Wasatch Wingz for the Geek Lunch. Hope I’m not alone. #
• I’m at Wasatch Wingz! I’m going with the Hot, Voodoo Mustard and Samurai BBQ sauces. Yum! #
• @DavidLaPlante That IS a find! I’m jealous! #

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• Just finished addressing all my Xmas cards. Now to write notes and sign them. #
• @Ande I’m a little busy writing for my blogs right now. I can’t really write for any others. #
• I’ve wasted this entire day. The house is shambles and I am feeling crazy. CRAZY!! #

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After scolding Lam Bui for not being willing to shower two days in a row, I realized that I hadn’t showered yet.

Put your money where your mouth is, Laura!

• Bad snow in SLC. They warned us it was coming, but it’s still a sight to see. #
• Still feeling crazy, but the snow makes everything a little muffled. #
• Buried in snow and more coming down. It’s gonna be a White Christmas. #
• Snow stopped and the sun is shining. Looks like it’s my chance to dig us out. #
• Note to self: Get tickets to Spirit of the Marathon. http://www.marathonmovie.com/ #
• Welcome to Twitter @davehuth Yeah!!! #
• @LanMBui It’s okay to take a shower two days in a row, even if you don’t stink. I promise, it won’t dry you out or kill you. #

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• For the record, it takes exactly 14 mins and 23 seconds in Desert Book before I start HATING everything Mormon. #
• Fiction writing late into the night. When it comes, I don’t want to interrupt it by sleeping. #
• @ThomAllen Night Flight Comics on State Street and about 6000 South. It’s where Pier One used to be. #

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• I’m ready for 2007 to be over. Willing to skip Xmas and New Years if it would make it happen sooner… #
• @jensimmons Then I’d miss CES. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe I should cancel CES if I feel like this… #
• When I feel like this, I HATE my stupid avatar, smiling at the camera. :( #

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OMG! I can’t believe that I have days and days of Twitter Logs with hardly anything in between. I am hardly working right now, so the only thing showing up on my weblog are the bits and pieces of my conversations on Twitter.

They don’t make any sense when you can only read one half. Someday, when Twitter is long gone, people are going to try to make sense of it by piecing it together from the weblog fragments that have been left behind and when they finally finish their project, they are going to be pissed as hell that it was all inanity and blather.

It’s Christmas Eve, but I’m not really feeling Christmasy. I don’t know if I ever felt that Christmasy feeling that so many people have or are missing from childhood. Christmas was always a stressful time of year as a child. A Jehovah Witness child at Christmas Time is a constant reminder of everyone else having more fun than you.

I loved Star Wars when I was a kid. My dad wouldn’t let me watch the Star Wars Christmas Special. Here is an edited version:

It’s the two-hour special condensed into five minutes. The short duration doesn’t make it any more watchable as an adult. Only a child can watch and enjoy it.

It’s like those stop-motion animation Christmas specials. I’ve never been able to sit through any of them as an adult, but I would have loved them as a kid. Mike talks about the elf that wants to be a dentist and the island of misfit toys with such love and joy. All of it is voodoo to me:

Completely unwatchable.

I watched The Santa Clause on DVD last night while I was wrapping presents. It helped me get into the Christmas mood a little.

Okay, that’s a lie. It helped me be a little less crabby. That’s what I’ve been shooting for: a little less crabby.

• Welcome to my Twitter friends, @sbanfield I was thinking of skipping my run today, but seeing your name makes me feel guilty. #
• Check out how much people are running during the Xmas Season! http://tinyurl.com/2gfrdk #
• Just finished my run. "Running" late now. Xmas Eve prep! Merry Xmas! #
• @ThomAllen Tell me about your personal trainer. If he’s good, I’d be interested. #
• @sbanfield Do NOT do another 10K 2 days in a row. Do a light, easy run today. If you still feel good, do a 10K tomorrow. #
• @lanmbui I saw the original twitter. I’m like Santa. I see you when I’M sleeping!! #

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• Just finished 2 miles on the treadmill. I have to do 2 more sometime later today. Merry Xmas, all! #
• @Ladanea How about REST. That’s the gift you can give yourself today. #
• @AinsleyofAttack At least she gave you something. Every mother of a small child NEEDS a fake Prada fannypack, don’t they? #

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• Xmas with all of family is done. Off to the neighbor’s house across the street for the Xmas Decompression Party. Later: stumble home drunk. #
• Home from neighbor’s party. Not quite drunk enough to stumble home. That’s good. No hangover tomorrow. #
• Just made my hotel reservations for CES. I shouldn’t have procrastinated this long, but I got a good deal anyway. #
• Still haven’t slept. Mike got me Luxor for the Nintendo DS. I’ve been up playing it all night. He gets me the BEST presents! #

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Moral of the story? If you’re trying to get incriminating evidence, you can never sleep.

• My dad just called to find out how to get my grandpa’s death certificate. I hate being the parent… #
• @ThomAllen God, I miss MS Publisher. Maybe I should try Pages on the Mac. #
• Utah Geeks: Blogger Dinner at Taj India TONIGHT! Check it and RSVP here: http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/349538/ #
• @jensimmons You can be girly AND lesbian. Femininity has little to do with sexuality. #
• @jensimmons When you find the right girl, she’ll like you for all your girly self. Sending good karma your way. #
• @RyanneHodson Hell for spammers: Someone they love is in a life-threatening situation and they can’t call because all the phones are busy with telemarketing calls. #
• There’s a Pepperdige Farm Outlet Store in Richmond, Utah?!! Why have I not heard of this before NOW?!! Where the frak is Richmond, Utah… #
• @davehuth Thanks for the link to The Midwest Teen Sex Show. This is EXACTLY what Utah teens need! http://midwestteensexshow.com/ #
• @lisawilliams Read http://www.problogger.net/ Darrin is the best for learning about SEO and online advertising. #
• Please don’t let this start WW3. http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/news/benazir.bhutto/index.html #
• @libel_vox San Juan, Puerto Rico. I want to see the cockroaches the size of small mice! #

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Egypt thinks that they have the right to copyright and charge royalties for pyramids. Considering how many different cultures came up with pyramid shaped buildings independently, I don’t think they have a leg to stand on.

• BBC NEWS | Middle East | Egypt ‘to copyright antiquities’

What jurisdiction does Egyptian parliament have on The Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas? Why would Egyptian politicians do something this stupid? Grrr….

Via: diesel sweeties – Antediluviannoying

• Judged my blogs’ reading levels. I am now shamed… http://tinyurl.com/2ca3a4 #
• Utah Geeks: Add @gclapp to your friends list. He’s the newest member of our crew! #
• What R YR FAV Mormon Movies? You don’t have to be LDS to love ’em! http://tinyurl.com/2afhf2 #
• My Fav Mo-Movies: Pride and Prejudice, Everything You Want, The Singles Ward, and Baptists at the Barbeque. #

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• Installing Leopard. #
• Trying out iChat with Twitter. Maybe this will be better than Adium. #
• @sbanfield Now I’m feeling guiltier than ever for not running today… #
• Battery low. Gotta go, friends. #
• Upgraded to Leopard. Hardly noticed a difference. Most noticeable difference? I have Comic Life now. #
• Getting ready for Dylan and Joan’s get together. #

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• Anyone out there try GIMP for editing photos? #
• Anybody out there? #
• Brilliant… Twitter IM isn’t working again. I wasn’t alone, I just wasn’t getting messages from y’all. #
• Played around with Gimp. Doesn’t look like it will work for me. :( I guess I’m more of a high power user than I thought. #
• @Ladanea Every mile counts. You’d be surprised how many miles you’ll run/walk in a year. #
• @ehrnky You don’t have to keep secrets, but you also get to choose who knows the truth. Only those worthy should be allowed in. #
• @ehrnky Don’t worry. Learning who to trust will come with time. Just continue being awesome and the best people will find you. #
• @Cinegage The frozen peas theme is a cancer/solidarity thing. I’m about ready for it to pass, despite the good intentions. #
• @missbhavens I’m bringing the stand-alone Atari plug-in to the next CodeAway and see how it compares to Rock Band. I bet they kick it out! #
• Turned off everything in Mike’s office to kill the high pitched hum. Including the Internets… Oops. #

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